I have recently been going round to various open days with my son, who is intending to go to music college in 2012.  This scares me in a number of ways, not least the fact that we will be considerably poorer, but also the idea of imagining my son on his own and looking after himself for the first time.   We have always taught him to be fairly independent, and I’m sure he would be able to cook basic meals, but occasionally things happen that remind you that he is ‘not quite’ an adult yet.

He is going off to Latitude next week, and during a chat the other day, he asked if it would be alright if he left his money in his tent.  There then ensued a lecture from my husband about how no-one can be trusted in this crime-ridden age, and so should purchase a specially fortified ‘money-belt’ to keep all his valuables in.   Searching the ‘festival’ website, but it was deemed that none were ‘cool’ enough for him to have about his person at Latitude, so other options such as keeping it in his sock, in his mobile phone wallet or just in his pocket were discussed but summarily dismissed.

We eventually found a solution, but it was interesting for me to realise just how trusting my son is, and how, when he goes away, he is (by necessity) going to change and become much more streetwise.  Whichever college he goes to, it is likely to be in a major city (London, Birmingham or Manchester) and I am sure, coming from a tiny Suffolk village that this will be a culture shock.  However, even from a young age, he always seems to have felt quite at home in big cities, and he does generally like the vibe.  So, from this point of view, I’m sure he will be absolutely fine.

I don’t sound convincing, do I?

The next year will go really quickly, and then before we know it he will be packing up all his worldly goods and fleeing the nest, so I have resolved in the meantime to enjoy his company while he is still here – this would include his music – piano, flute and saxophone – that we take for granted at the moment, but which floats downstairs to our kitchen, giving it the feel of a jazz club.   But also his cheery personality, his funny ‘food quirks’ (a liking for fondant icing, and paxo stuffing – not together, I hasten to add) and his wicked sense of humour.

But I know that eventually I will have to let him make his own way and that this will be hard.   As a mum, we spend so many years looking out for our offspring, and so when kids do eventually gain their independence, it is often hard to adjust.

I think that it is important that we look at this stage as a new stage in ‘our’ lives too, a time when we can learn new things, perhaps start a new job or hobby, meet new people.  

But, of course, still being there for them when they come back ……

All the best,
Wendy x