As Mr Chalk will tell you, I have a bit of a thing about holidays – I love them, everything about them, but this doesn’t only mean the actual taking of the holiday, but also, for me, the organising part.  Heaven for me is a day with loads of brochures and travel guides, good internet connection and a credit card at hand.   In fact, this part is actually almost as nice as going on the holiday, as, having a very strong imagination, I can start to visualise myself lying on the beach, with cocktail in hand or exploring some temple or other, the ‘real’ world very firmly left behind. 

Since having the boys we have had some brilliant holidays – when they were little, we used to go every year to Southwold (I believe Libby Purves once described this wonderful little seaside town as ‘prozac by the sea’) and spent happy days on the beach and playing the machines on the pier.  Once they were older, we ventured a bit further afield and took ourselves off to France, trying out various different ‘Eurocamps’, particularly those with good waterslides – this was always a very important criteria.  We travelled many miles in Vera the Volvo, and I remember preparing little packs of things for the boys to do, and having to regularly ‘muck them out’ after each stage of the journey.  Happy days.

We then became even more ambitious and had a few long-haul trips, including
Sri Lanka, Cuba and Thailand – these were truly fabulous holidays, and ones that we will all remember.

I would like to think that my love of travel has been passed to my boys.   When I was little, we never failed to have a family holiday every year and this would be to the Isle of Wight, Dorset or perhaps Devon.   We had an old morris traveller, and very often it would break down en route, I remember my dad used to write down the names of all the towns we had to go through – nowhere was bypassed then, and there were very few motorways.  I just remember getting so excited the night before we went on holiday, that feeling of anticipation of exploring somewhere different, meeting new people was magical to me.

I have just booked our summer holiday for this year, but it feels really strange, because it will just be the two of us, as the boys have said they are happy to stay at home this year.  This is quite scary – not least because I worry what state our house will be in when I get back home – but also as it would seem to indicate that our family is evolving, and our boys are not so dependent any more, getting ready to ‘leave the nest’.   This is also reinforced by the fact that we are currently going to university open days with our eldest, as in 18 months time, he will be leaving school to go to music college.

I see a number of clients with ’empty nest syndrome’ and I can really understand how  that feeling of no longer being needed can be quite unsettling.   Whilst, for me, I know that it is important that I really enjoy the time I have now with my boys, as in a short while they will most probably be leaving home.

For my clients in this situation, I advise them to start to think about those things that you would like to be doing, when you will have all this extra time – this can range from study, learning new hobbies, travel (definitely on my agenda), volunteering etc.   Above all, try to do something which will give you real satisfaction, and in some way replace that feeling of ‘being needed’, but also something not too demanding of your time and energy.

If you are planning a new chapter in your life, or if your life is changing and some of that change seems frightening or bewildering, I can help you to have the confidence to see this through.   Contact me on 0781 715 8429 or 01449 780352, or email me on wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.