In last night’s ‘One Born Every Minute’ on Channel 4, the wonderful ‘fly-on-the-wall’ series set in Princess Anne Maternity Hospital, Southampton, there were a couple – Caroline and Chris Pike – who had tried for a family through IVF many times but without success.   Finally, they found themselves pregnant with triplets, but one of their babies was much smaller than the others, and so the couple were advised to deliver at seven months.   A planned caesarean turned into an emergency procedure as the little one was becoming distressed, and unfortunately for Chris, he did not quite make it in time to see the 3 boys being born. 

I have to say that I found the whole programme incredibly moving – the couple were so looking forward to being a family, and they had made all the preparations.  It was such a pity that little William had to stay in the neo-natal unit for 5 months, after Chris and Caroline had taken the other 2 boys home.  

I could share in the angst of this couple as myself and my husband went through IVF treatment ourselves and I can understand Caroline when she was describing how she felt at the thought of being childless.   It is quite the most unbearable level of stress as initially there is the thought of never being able to have a family, whilst continually reminded that for other people it seems to be effortless.  I remember being quite ashamed of myself for feeling utter resentment of when I saw what I judged to be ‘unsuitable’ prospective parents – how dare they have children so easily, when I, much better qualified to be a mother, was destined to be childless?

Then there is the endless round of treatment, which is quite hideous in itself, involving regular deep muscle injections, vaginal scans, egg retrieval (not knowing if eggs are healthy or viable) and then re-implantation of embryos (if you made it to that stage). 

Then the waiting.

I think, for me, this was the worst part, as every little sign seems to be an indication that you are not pregnant.   We were, in actual fact, extremely lucky as I fell pregnant with twins on my first round of IVF, unfortunately one of the twins died fairly early on in the pregnancy.   After 37 very anxious months, we had Oliver, who is now 17 and, it must be said, thriving.   To our surprise, Joe came along 2 years later, quite naturally.    And I realise that we have indeed been blessed.

Anybody who has not suffered the pain of infertility cannot possibly understand the trauma that this brings to many couples.  This is why I believe that IVF treatment should be accompanied by relaxation/meditation classes, in order to help the couple through the ordeal.

A survey carried out in 2004 found that women who underwent hypnosis as part of their treatment were twice as likely to conceive as those who did not and I very much believe that women who are more relaxed may be more likely to conceive as fertility depends on the womb being strong and protective, in order to receive the embryo.  I will never forget one of the doctors in the fertility clinic telling us to ‘look after the accommodation’ and this, I felt was a lovely way of expressing it, as I could then imagine my womb as a homely, warm and cosy nest, for my baby to grow in.   This was a very strong visualisation that I carried with me throughout the pregnancy.   I was also very fortunate in that we could afford for me to give up work at the time, so I could just relax and look after myself.   I am sure that this all helped our chances of conception and ultimately a healthy baby. 

If you are considering going through IVF, and would like to explore how hypnotherapy could help you deal with the stress of this treatment, I would be happy to talk to you.  Please contact me on 01449 780352 or 0781 7158429 or alternatively, email me on wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.

All the best little William Pike.