We all tend to feel better when we look better – whatever people may say about beauty being skin deep, I believe that making the best of your appearance can improve well-being and is perfectly natural and healthy.

However, it really does concern me that a lot of young people are showing a tendency to obsession, when it comes to how they look.  Watching the Channel 4 programme ‘Beauty & the Beast:the Ugly face of Prejudice’ last night made interesting viewing in this regard, observing Yasmin, a very pretty young girl with quite obvious confidence issues and her time with Oliver, a father of two, facially disfigured by burns.   Yasmin spent hours every day attending to make-up and hair, and really found it impossible to go out without hair extensions/false eyelashes etc., whereas by contrast Oliver was very happy ‘in his skin’ (no pun intended) and was intent on persuading Yasmin that actually she looked better without make up. 

Having two teenagers, I know that the pressure on young people to look good is enormous – whether or not this is due to the media forever showing us images of ‘perfect’ bodies.  What concerns me is this un-ending quest for ‘perfection’, with even young teenagers requesting cosmetic surgery, and where it used to be mainly girls who were most troubled by appearance, boys are now subject to feelings of self-loathing as well.  Children and teenagers seem to attach great importance to looks and can be incredibly cruel to each other. A chance comment made in the playground can have a lasting effect on a child’s already shaky self-esteem.  Perhaps it is not just coincidence that the most popular net-working site for young people is called ‘Facebook’.

It is my belief that we need to give children and young people the emotional ‘tools’ to feel good about themselves from a very early age.  This includes giving them encouragement and praise at every opportunity, as well as teaching them how to communicate well with others, and making them feel good about themselves.  Being there for them (when they feel the need to talk) is essential.  It is also really important that they learn strategies in order to deal with stress, sadly a common factor in today’s world, with continual exams and testing, family breakdown, job worries as well as this overiding emphasis on body image.

If you are concerned about your child or teenager’s self esteem, please do give me a call on 01449 780352 or 0781 7158429, or email me on wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.