It is a difficult and stressful time for our family at present as my lovely, gentle dad is very poorly, suffering from the symptoms of end-stage dementia. Unfortunately we are having difficulty finding somewhere which is prepared to take him.

His care home has been unable to cater for his needs when he has been really unwell, which is somewhat odd as they have nursing, dementia and end-of-life facilities. Over the last few weeks he has been shunted backwards and forwards between the hospital and the care home. So, last night, in the freezing cold he was taken to hospital once again, spending several hours in a busy and over-stretched A&E unit with my husband, and then my brother who sped across from Gloucestershire to be with him.

I have to make the point that I have no complaints about the carers in the different locations he ends up. From the superb paramedics to the carers in his old peoples home, and the nurses in hospital, all involved have treated my dad with dignity and kindness.

It is more the system which is at fault. The care home management seem to just want to cover their axxxx, fearing litigation. And the hospital just do not have the capacity for my dad, who really does not have anything specifically wrong with him, but is quite simply dying.

Without wishing to come across as arrogant, we are intelligent, confident people. My brother is a doctor, my husband and I both run our own businesses. We are all of the same opinion that we do not want dad to continue to suffer with infections, poor mobility and general frailty. We simply want him to be comfortable at the end of his life with the minimum of clinical intervention. So if we are finding it difficult to find appropriate care for our dad, what hope is there for anybody else in this situation, particularly those who do not have family around to help?

Best wishes everyone,
Wendy x