It has been reported that there is more depression than ever occurring in older teens and twenty year olds. This can be a difficult time and now more than ever there are difficulties which put pressure on this age group. Many young people are having – out of necessity – to remain living with their parents, as the cost of housing is too high for them to be able to afford their own place. This means that they are unable to have complete independence and control over their lives, which would build self-esteem and confidence. The workplace is also so competitive now, that the pressure to do the best, career-wise and gain as many qualifications as possible is higher than ever. In addition, the cost of university education, having tripled, puts many twenty year olds in a depressing debt situation, before they have even begun to think of settling down, buying a house and having a family. I know this well as we sometimes laugh about my son’s £50,000 debt he will leave university with, as it seems almost too absurd to be real.

What a depressing picture! On the other hand, in many ways the world is a better place for our young now, much more tolerant of minorities – allowing for a wonderful, rich diverse society which had not been previously accepted. There is huge amount of choice in all areas (sometimes this is not necessarily a good thing) and we have information at our finger tips about everything, thanks to the internet.

If you are an older teen or a twenty something, there a few things that you can do to help yourself feel more positive, and these include:

Cut down on your use of social media (yes, it’s hard, but studies have soon that overuse of this resource will not make you happy).  Cultivate real friendships, meet people face to face, it’s healthier and will promote wellbeing.

You don’t have to be Gwyneth Paltrow, but try to eat a healthy diet with lots of veg, fruit and good protein sources. If you do suffer from low mood, cut down on alcohol, as it is a depressant. Not too much caffeine or fizzy drinks, either.

Have a career goal, but be a little bit flexible in this regard, sometimes things do not happen as planned, but this can sometimes be for the best. Above all, try to do something that you really enjoy, then it won’t seem like work. Not always possible, but it can happen.

Don’t try to be superhuman – there is so much pressure on youngsters to look perfect, correct weight, nice hair, that many people are suffering with body image problems. Be you and know that you are lovely.

Find some form of exercise that you enjoy, and do it regularly. Walking, swimming, dancing, extreme pole-vaulting, whatever gets you going. Team sports are good too, as you get the social contact, which enhances well-being.

If things are really tough, consider counselling or hypnotherapy. It can really help.

The world has changed a lot since I was twenty and it’s not always easy, but the biggest thing to remember is that change CAN happen, and you can make the life that you want.

Best wishes,
Wendy x

I hesitate before making the journey tomorrow to Birmingham to see my eldest son, as it seems that according to the terrorism expert on US Fox News it is a no-go area for non-Muslims.

This ridiculous comment has caused quite a outrage but it only goes to show how how narrow and ill-informed some people can be. If this so-called ‘expert’ was called upon for comment on a major news channel, one can only assume that there must be many more people in the States and throughout the world who are similarly ill-informed.

It is this sort of lack of knowledge and narrow thinking which is at the heart of many problems in modern society.

I love the fact that we are a richly-seamed society and in particular in this country welcome people from many different cultures and ethnic groups. Whilst we have witnessed all too recently the most awful atrocities, we must continue to strive to know each other and know more about our world, as it is only through knowledge and understanding can we live peacefully together.

I think that I may be alright without my passport.

Best wishes,
Wendy x

I have been reading Paul McKenna’s latest book ‘The 3 things that will change your destiny’ and, although he does come in for some stick and can be a little gimmicky, I think that much of this book makes an awful lot of sense.

In my hypnotherapy practice I incorporate a lot of McKenna’s techniques as I trained with John Plester at the East Anglian Institute of Hypnosis, one of Paul McKenna’s trainers. It seems that over the years McKenna has evolved from the show hypnotist to someone who is much more in tune with the healing side of hypnosis, incorporating spiritual ideas from Buddhism and also including the latest energy healing techniques like ‘havening’. This seems to be a combination of EMDR (eye movement re-processing) and TFT (a touch-based healing technique) and was the brainchild of Dr Ronald Ruden, a conventional medical doctor who runs a practice in New York
City and has had outstanding results, particularly with patients suffering from post traumatic stress.

I am not sure about this, although I have had excellent results from another similar type of therapy called Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). Basically what this type of intervention does is disrupt negative thought patterns, particularly useful for significant trauma – such as an accident or terrifying event – and the result is that the person no longer has the damaging emotion from that particular memory, although they will still be aware that it happened. It just does not affect them any more.

McKenna combines different strands of therapy including the havening already mentioned as well as Neuro-linguistic programming, and good old hypnosis to come up with a very interesting book. I think that it can be condensed into just one thing, however, and it is this:

‘What you think is holding you back from your ultimate destiny is just a story you tell yourself, and you can change that story at any time’


In other words YOU create your world, no matter what has gone before, by focussing on what you really want in life, you will find that the most wonderful things start to happen.

Best wishes,
Wendy x

The recent Channel 4 programme ‘Shut-ins – Britain’s fattest people’ was sad and disturbing at the same time. Focusing on two morbidly obese people Sharon and Aftab, it found how their lives (and the lives of their partners) were so severely restricted by their eating disorders that they could no longer go out and do all the things that the rest of us do. It then showed how they were offered different ways of losing weight, Sharon a very dangerous operation to reduce the size of her stomach, so that she could no longer eat huge quantities and Aftab had the help of a lovely personal trainer, along with a strict diet.

Both seemed to achieve success, losing stones, and by the end of the programme doing those normal things that we take for granted. It will be interesting to follow their progress.

What was striking to me was how they both seemed to treat their partners quite cruelly at times, and they seemed to be almost wrapped up in their own problems.

At the root of extreme eating disorders such as this often lies a very low sense of self-esteem, perhaps stemming from difficulties in childhood, resulting in their addictive behaviour. The psychiatrist on the show said that, in effect, binge-eating is a form of self-harm and this is so true. One part of the person knows that this behaviour is so negative, but with the overwhelming pain and torment felt inside, eating is a known easy way to make themselves feel better immediately. They then become trapped in a vicious cycle of bingeing and feeling bad, as the food is the only thing that appears to offer comfort.

I regularly see clients with eating disorders, and each person is unique, so I treat them in a holistic way. Many hypnotherapists offer the gastric hypnoband treatment, but I feel that it is far more important to focus on what is at the root of the overeating, and concentrate on building up confidence, self-esteem and helping to make small changes which will last, and result in the adoption of long term healthy habits. Many people want to see drastic change very quickly, but I feel that it is more important to work on the client’s emotional wellbeing, and the rest will follow naturally.

If you wish to chat to me about hypnotherapy, and find out how it can make a difference to your life, please call on 01449780352 or 07817158429, or email me on wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.

Take care and best wishes,
Wendy x

As we begin the new year there is always much talk of ‘detoxing’, giving our bodies a rest from the Christmas overload of alcohol, rich food, chocolates, cake. I noticed that my younger son is giving green tea a go, but I’m not sure how long that will last and how soon he will be back on the builders!

It is a really good idea to start the new year with a commitment to looking at how we can improve our health, but I would advise that its sensible to pick a particular thing – just one thing – that you know you can stick at, however small. A detox regime which consists of wheatgrass smoothies and tofu will not be sustainable, and research seems to back up the idea that it is the healthy habits which last are the ones that make most of a difference. Make it easy for yourself.

However, as well as paying attention to our bodies, it is even more essential to address what’s going on in our minds and maybe do a bit of a ‘detox’ there too. As I reported in a previous blog, stress can play havoc with our hormones, in particular leading to an increase in cortisol, the stress hormone, which causes weight gain particularly round the middle. Lack of sleep, too, can cause all sorts of physical and emotional problems, and it is generally thought now that the less good quality sleep we get, the heavier and unhealthier we tend to be.

It is sometimes difficult to fix ourselves, so why not consider contacting me for some hypnotherapy sessions? Whatever issues you have, whether it is a work/life balance problem, anxiety issues, particular difficult memories you would like to let go of, we really can look at the whole picture and find ways to help you feel so much better, not just in body but also in mind too.

I look forward to hearing from you soon – you can contact me on 01449 780352 or 07817158429, or you can email me on wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.

Best wishes for a wonderful 2015
Wendy x

This time of year is often very challenging for some people, and Mr Chalk and I were witness to this yesterday when, coming home from London by train, we stopped at Colchester and were told to disembark as there had been a suicide near to Manningtree and the trains could obviously not proceed further. It’s a terrible tragedy when someone has got to this state of mind, when they feel the urge to commit such a desperate act and we really cannot know or judge what was going on here. However, I do feel for the rail staff and particularly the driver who will very probably experience some form of post traumatic stress after such an incident.

Depression is at epidemic proportions, and the NHS response to this – in the form of medication and perhaps down the line some cognitive behavioural therapy, maybe in person but often on the phone, or even (unbelievably) an online course does not seem to be working.

As someone who has been through depression and come out the other side, I now know the things that work and I am listing them here:

– medication such as antidepressants can work wonders, and it is really important to consult your GP about this, although it is then sometimes very difficult to come off them, and some people have to stay on them for life in order to feel well.

– over the years I have discovered that there are a range of natural supplements that keep me well, these include omega 3 fish oils, vitamin B complex and 5 HTP (a serotonin booster which acts in a similar way to some anti-depressants). I have not found St Johns Wort or evening primrose oil, or homeopathic remedies to be particularly affective but that’s just me. Try reading Patrick Holford for more information on natural remedies.

– eat healthily and moderately, lots of veg (less of the fruit because it can give you sugar high and lows). Particularly good mood food includes seeds, nuts, oats, porridge, lean protein such as chicken or fish. Oily fish is particularly good as it gives you the omega 3s. Avoiding the junk really does have a significant effect.

– doing an exercise that you enjoy is really vital, and doing it regularly. For me that’s walking, yoga and swimming, I don’t do enough of them, but I will try in 2015.

– find a hobby that’s really absorbing, where you completely lose track of time, preferably not something that involves a computer, lap-top, iPad, mobile phone or any other electronic device.

– sleep is really important, so make sure that you get enough of it, and consider hypnotherapy as this can have a profound effect on the quality of your sleep.

– get with others, and do stuff for them, I’m so lucky to have a job where I help people and see the direct results of this. Small acts of kindness work just as well though.

– notice those little moments in the day that are special, a lovely hug with someone you have not seen for a while, really bright winter sunlight, a nice meal. This really does work, it takes practice but over time you can re-pitch your default setting to positive, and not negative thoughts.

– try not to be superman or woman, you are a unique person with your own wonderful qualities.

Can I just say a big thank you to all the lovely people I have helped through 2014, and I look forward to meeting many new ones in 2015.

Warmest wishes,
Wendy x

So that was it then. A good time was had, lovely company, excellent presents, lots of very rich food, and Mr Chalk and I found the inn to be quite comfortable and peaceful to retire to after each busy day (see my previous blog for details of sleeping arrangements).

There has been a bit of a musical theme to this Christmas. To their delight my son Olly entertained our elderly guests with some wonderful jazz piano standards on Christmas Day, as Mr Chalk and I cooked the dinner. It did feel a bit like an old peoples home at times, but at least everyone was happy. On Boxing Day evening we all sat down to enjoy that wonderful Victoria Wood comedy musical ‘That day we sang’. A real ‘feel-good’ piece, such clever lyrics, I particularly liked Enid, the heroine’s song when she was lamenting about her boring, narrow life, with gems such as ‘no Kenya, certainly not when ya, tights are 45 denier. Marvellous.

Also, quite spookily, Mr Chalk and I bought each other tickets for musicals, as part of our Christmas presents to each other – Dirty, rotten, scoundrel from me to him and Miss Saigon from him to me. Make of that what you will. They are also on consecutive nights, so warranting a little stay in London which will be lovely.

Music is such a powerful thing, and I am a particular fan of musicals for that amazing feeling of being uplifted and energised – wrapped up in a great big musical hug.

Musicals are also a wonderful energetic contrast to the music I play in my therapy room, which is very calming and peaceful, and promotes those ‘alpha waves’ which occur in hypnosis. I love this sort of music too, and it has a very important part to play in my hypnotherapy sessions.

One of the things I shall be doing over the holidays is looking at my therapy room playlist, and possibly revising it a little. I shall look forward to playing these for my clients in 2015, helping them to achieve a deep state of calm and serenity, a wonderful antidote to the stress and anxiety of modern life.

Happy harmonies,
Wendy x

We hadn’t planned it this way, but – having a house full over Christmas, and realising that our spines are not made for air beds any more – Mr Chalk and I shall be staying at a nearby budget hotel over the festive season – and, it may seem strange but you cannot guess at how relieved I am. Having checked the website yesterday we were pleased to find that, contrary to the well-known and loved Christmas story, there was actually plenty of room at the inn, so on Christmas Eve night we shall make our way to that little town beginning with a ‘B’, in this case Bramford and not Bethlehem. It should not take us quite so long as it did Mary and Joseph, as we will be Volvo riding, not donkey. I am also hoping that the inn will be fairly comfortable, having seen the adverts with Lenny Henry, I feel reassured that this will be the case, and there will be a minimum of livestock that we shall be sharing our room with.

Some people hate to be away from their homes at this time of year, but I must admit that I am quite looking forward to having our own space to sleep and get showered and dressed will be quite wonderful. We have enjoyed the years spent with the boys climbing into bed with us when they were little on Christmas morning, and now that they are 18 and 21, the Christmas holiday period takes on a different hue. So, Mr Chalk and I will have the luxury of freshly laundered sheets, and our own bathroom, while our guests can enjoy the chaos of our house. This will mean that we can go back to our house each day feeling refreshed, not having to share a bathroom and also then escape the throng in the evening. This will make for a calm Christmas and although I shall still be doing the cooking and hosting (which I do enjoy as a matter of fact) there is this wonderful in-built escape plan. Bliss.

However you are spending Christmas, I do send you my best wishes for the holiday season, and a very health and happy 2015.

Wendy x

The desperately sad news of Charlotte Bevan and her new baby daughter being found dead in the Avon Gorge, after disappearing from hospital highlights the all too common problem of depression in new mothers. As Charlotte already had a mental health problem, it is baffling that she was able to leave the hospital so easily and unnoticed by staff, but we cannot know all the circumstances.

As someone who has suffered from post-natal depression myself, I can identify with that despairing feeling which descends on you at a time when the world expects you to be on cloud nine. This is often what makes it so much more difficult, and the horrible thoughts that can go through your mind at this time make you question your ability as a mother.

We cannot know what was going on in poor Charlotte’s mind, but it is clear that much more support should be given to people like herself, and indeed anyone suffering from depression or mental illness.

If you feel that you may have depression, it is vital that you seek help, and going to your GP is the first important course of action to take. It may then be suggested that you take a course of anti-depressants and perhaps some therapy.

Hypnotherapy treatment can be taken alongside conventional treatment, and I regularly see clients who are taking some sort of medication. What I find is that the calming nature of the hypnotherapy as well as the powerful positive suggestions are very effective at helping people to begin to feel better very quickly.

If you would like to know more about how hypnotherapy can help you, do please contact me on 01449 780352 or 07817158429, or email me – wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.

Best wishes,
Wendy x

I have to confess that I am not a great lover of Christmas – it could have something to do with the fact that my boys are now grown up, so the excitement that was once experienced through their little eyes is no longer there.  The over-commercialisation (as well as the rich food) also makes be slightly nauseous, you only have to look at the scenes witnessed on ‘black’ Friday to already be sickened by it all.

So this year I have decided to do things slightly differently.

I have decided not to make a big fuss.

After all, you have to admit that, really, it’s just a glorified Sunday roast but with presents. So, with that in mind, I am keeping everything as simple as I possibly can. For one thing, I have decided not to put up the tree till just a few days before Christmas Day. I am also keeping costs of presents down, but buying things that I think people will really love. We do not buy for the adults in our family anyway, so it’s already relatively easy and I shall do all the shopping on-line.

I am intending to make everything as easy as I can for myself, so I have already ordered my food shopping to be delivered on 23rd December and I have ordered the bird from a local supplier.

Whilst I do appreciate that some people absolutely love Christmas, I think it does put a lot of pressure on people (women especially, not being sexist here but you know I’m right) and there is the assumption that everything has to be absolutely perfect.

Well, it really doesn’t, so do things in your own way, and make it easy on yourself.

Remember, less is so much more.

Wendy x