Last week I wrote about the likely future increase of male depression, due in part to the ‘mancession’ with the economy claiming many mens’ jobs, and consequently their roles and identities within their family and the wider society.

Whilst it would be wrong to generalise, it seems to me that female depression tends to have as it source the need to ‘do everything, and do it perfectly’.   So, typically, this would involve working full time, caring for children/elderly parents, doing the housework, whilst at the same time keeping a size 10 figure.   Many of the women I see claim to be feeling absolutely exhausted, depressed and stressed out, and is it any wonder? 

A new book recently published ‘Dutch Women Don’t Get Depressed’ reveals that Dutch women seem to have found a much better work/life balance, compared to their European sisters.  The main reason for this seems to be that the majority of them (68%) work part-time.   They consequently earn much less, but their quality of life appears to be that much more fulfilling as they have time to care for family, study, read and see friends.   And it is not just women with young families who are in this category, but also childless women in their 20s and 30s.   They do no seem to place as much importance in material possessions, but instead value their free time much more.  Often, this kind of set up involves depending more on their partners for finance, but they would deny that this is old-fashioned and in fact claim that it makes for much less stress within the relationship.  To them, this financial dependance does not make them less of a person in their own right, and they assert that they enjoy modern, well-balanced relationships.   The very low Dutch divorce rate would seem to bear this out.

Kirsty Young bemoaned the fact recently that people (both male and female) are often defined by the jobs that they do.   Dutch women would seem to refute this, claiming that women can lead fulfilling and interesting lives that do not just consist of work.   Even highly educated Dutch women would not regard their career as the most important thing in their lives, but instead are spending time on developing ‘themselves’ – perhaps devoting time to learning new skills, or spending it with family and friends. 

Whilst I fully realise that working part-time is not a luxury that all of us can afford, I often advise people to really look at their work/life balance, and see if there are ways that they could manage to cut down some of their outgoings in order to be able to work less.  Having more time to spend on the things that really matter is worth so much more – I believe – than having a bit more cash to spend.

If you are feeling that your life lacks balance and would like some help, do contact me on 01449 780352 or 0781 7158429, or email me on wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.