I was very sad to hear the news about Charles Kennedy, the Liberal Democrat MP, who died yesterday aged 55. We do not yet know the circumstances of his death but whatever the cause, it is certainly untimely.

Although a very successful parliamentarian as well as being a well-liked and genuine man, he battled with alcohol and bravely made this public knowledge a few years ago. The loss of his seat recently must have been devastating, after over 30 years as an MP, compounded by the recent death of his father who he cared for. His marriage had ended in 2005, although he was a doting dad to his little boy.

He was certainly a man of principle as evidenced by his passionate opposition to the Iraq war and he can be admired for this as, at the time, many around him were pro-war. Events since that time show that he was right in his belief that such action would ultimately lead to huge unrest, and anti-West fervour such as we now see with the Islamic State.

Sometimes it is said that people such as Charles Kennedy and other troubled souls like him see things all too clearly whilst the rest of us manage to find a way to ‘rose tint’ life, enabling us to function without the need for a crutch.

I hope that his family and friends find comfort in the outpouring of love and respect being expressed about this warm-hearted and genuine man.

Wendy x

I am delighted that the NHS is now offering hypnobirthing lessons on the NHS, although this is still limited to some parts of the country, notably the north-east in Hartlepool and Tyne Tees. It is such a good idea to learn a self-hypnosis/deep relaxation technique in the months leading up to having a baby as this generally leads to a much calmer, happier pregnancy as well as birth experience.

Even better, if you can continue to find time (so difficult, I realise with a new baby!) to carry on a regular practise of self-hypnosis, this will help to make you a much calmer parent.

My first experience of hypnosis was just after my eldest son was born, when I had several sessions with a local hypnotherapist, who gave me a cassette tape (showing my age here) which I regularly used at home when Olly was having his nap. This then formed the basis for my interest in hypnosis, which then eventually became a career.

Making time for yourself – even just 10 minutes per day – is a wonderful gift to yourself to bring down stress and pain levels, whatever life is throwing at you.

Do get in touch if you would like to find out more about the wonderful power of hypnosis, and how you can learn to use it yourself in your daily life, with quite amazing results.

I would also like to add that I am experienced in helping couples with fertility issues, as well as being able to provide hypnotherapy for a more relaxed pregnancy and birth.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Wendy x

I was so moved by last night’s programme on Channel 4, The Stranger on the Bridge, in which a young chap called Jonny Benjamin endeavoured to find the person who had talked him down from jumping off Waterloo Bridge 6 years ago.

A vulnerable young man, he had just been given the devastating news that he was suffering from schizophrenia, a diagnosis which explained the incessant voices in his head but which also completely overwhelmed him, so that he saw no other solution than to plan to take his own life. He went to Waterloo bridge one morning and climbed through the railings, ready to jump, when he was approached by a passerby – who he thought was called Mike – who refused to leave his side, and eventually managed to persuade him to change his mind.

Jonny then spent months and years trying to find his rescuer, an internet campaign went viral and he even had a number of people come forward to say that they were his ‘Mike’. He appeared on national TV to try and find his man, but to no avail. The trail seemed to have gone cold.

But then something wonderful happened and someone noticed Jonny’s campaign, whose fiancé had had a similar experience six years ago, when he was crossing Waterloo Bridge and he had persuaded a young man not to jump. The details seemed to add up and Jonny felt this was his man, even though his name was actually Neil. Their meeting was very moving, Jonny was able to say thank you to Neil, a lovely warm-hearted man and they have remained friends.

Jonny continues to manage his schizophrenia, and is now working to raise awareness for mental health issues.

Sending good wishes to those two lovely men who were brought together on the bridge that day.

Wendy x

The Panarama programme last Monday evening on male suicide was an extremely sad and moving piece. It largely focussed on journalist Simon Jack trying to find out why his father took his own life at 40, an age which Simon himself had reached.

Apparently suicide, quite shockingly, is one of the biggest killers in men under the age of 50, and particularly common with young men between the ages of 18 and 24. In a time when the stigma of mental illness does seem to be breaking down, it does still appear that for many the idea of asking for help is not an option. The old stereotype of women being able to go to their friends, family and professionals for help more easily, and not bottling things up may still apply, but I do think it goes deeper than that.

Simon found that his father did seem to have a history of depression and alcoholism (which do often go together) and was of the generation when you kept your stiff upper lip, and didn’t talk to people about how you felt, as this was a sure sign of weakness. He felt increasingly trapped by all sorts of different pressures, and in the end saw no other way out.

Whilst this may still be true to a certain extent, I think what also comes into play is the fact that men are now finding themselves at a crisis point in terms of their identity. The world is now a complex place, where roles and identities are mixed around, and for many men the old primal idea of just wanting to provide for the family is still a basic instinct – hence there is a conflict.

We should encourage men to talk and seek help, but it is far more than that, I believe. Mental health support needs to be individually tailored for each person, not a one size fits all, and only then can we truly start to help those in need. This inevitably requires increased funding and training and a much less blinkered approach in the provision of counselling and support. In addition, help needs to be given straight away, as so often people are put on a waiting list, with sometimes dire results.

Best wishes,

Wendy x

I was listening to Radio 4’s You & Yours today, and was particularly struck by an item about the new craze for colouring books for adults. At first this may sound like a ridiculous idea, how can we possibly make time for such an inane activity such as colouring? This is just an activity for children, surely?

But actually it’s not as stupid as it seems. Getting lost in colouring as an activity – and the books are more sophisticated than the average children’s colouring book, so you can be really pleased with your finished picture – can be a wonderful form of meditation. Dedicated colourists say that worries and cares seem to melt away as you focus on the relaxing task of putting colour to a picture. Actual meditation can sometimes be a difficult thing to do as the mind tends to wander and sometimes you dwell on particular worries. Having a relatively easy task to focus on is a simple way of being mindful, and anyone can colour.

I have already ordered my colouring book, so am looking forward to getting started. I am determined to not go over the lines …..

Wendy x

It was with some trepidation that I waved goodbye to my youngest as he drove off in his little VW polo to Birmingham, to stay with his older brother for the weekend. He is an excellent driver but, knowing the very different style of driving in a large conurbation compared to the practically deserted  roads around here, a mother does tend to worry.

His rationale was that he had to do it sometime, so why not now, and it would kill a couple of birds with one stone, as he could bring his brother and the brother’s girlfriend back with him. So I packed him off, and tried to keep to the back of my mind those anxious thoughts.

Sometimes, when faced with a difficult task the best way is to ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’ (as wrote the brilliant Susan Jeffers). We all feel anxiety, it is a natural human thing, but just accepting this, and then getting on and doing the thing that scares us is what then will build up confidence and resilience.

By the way, he got there safely! Just worrying about him coming back now …. I’m his mum, give me a break.

With best wishes for Easter,

Wendy x

I always find I seem to be at my plumpest this time of year.  Getting to the end of a carb-loaded winter in which it’s easy to cover up the blobby bits with long cardigans, I suddenly realise the sun’s coming out, it’s getting warmer, so it’s time to de-layer. And that’s when I realise the truth of the matter.

I am a little bit fat.

Having just had a thorough medical which revealed that I am in good condition generally, although my cholesterol level would point me in the direction of the GP to get a statin prescription (no way, Jose – see my earlier blogs on what I think about statins) I am not unduly concerned. So it is probably more a case of vanity.

Normally I would cut calories for a few weeks, but I decided this time that I would self-hypnotise daily, in an effort to find out what my body really needs. And the results have been fascinating. I think in the past hypnosis has really helped me to just simply eat much less, and this invariably led to weight loss. But this time my focus seems to be much more precise, and I am finding that I seem to be gravitating towards a way of eating which is optimising my health, with the pounds falling off quite quickly too.

I have always had a keen interest in nutrition, and have long been convinced that the lower carbohydrate type diets are much healthier and likely to lead to good results long term. In the past, however, I have found flaws in the various different options – Atkins, South Beach, Dukan always seemed a bit unsustainable. I have also been looking at the Zoe Harcombe diet, which is interesting but I am not sure about the food combining aspect. Through self-hypnosis I seem to be working out my own version of a healthy low-carbohydrate diet which works for ME, and it’s a revelation.

It’s almost as if my body knows exactly what to do, and just by having these daily self-hypnosis sessions, I am finally finding an easy, sustainable way to shed the pounds.

I really believe that we each have so much more insight into ourselves than we think we have and by learning how to tap into this we can live our lives in a much healthier, happier way. Hypnosis can gently guide us to certain realisations, that our conscious, logical brains would not be able reach.

Enjoy this lovely spring sunshine.

Wendy x

Mr Chalk and I have just spent the weekend with some lovely friends on the North Norfolk coast, and had a wonderful time just chilling out, eating, drinking and chatting. I must say it did us both the world of good and we came back over the border feeling very much refreshed.

We got talking at the weekend about those people in life who ‘fill your cup’ and those who have a tendency to empty it. As we go through life we form friendships at different stages but we can sometimes find that, with some friendships it seems to be all one-way traffic.  We may find that we do all the organising, chasing, shoulder offering when things are difficult and generally keeping the friendship going. In return we seem to receive very little, and after a while this can contribute to low self esteem as we feel that we are not valued or given support in return.

I think that, as we get older, it’s important to re-evaluate our friendships and when there seems to be too much effort involved, really think about possibly letting things fizzle out. This is sometimes difficult to do, particularly when the friendship has been a long-standing one. I feel that as I get older I really want to have friends that fill my cup, not empty it. Life is just far too short to be with people who do not seem to be giving anything back.

Best wishes,
Wendy x

I realise that I often take for granted the beautiful countryside we are lucky enough to have around here. This morning, I took myself out for a brisk walk in the sunshine, and did a ‘circuit’ that incorporates the most wonderful views across open fields. Sometimes when I go out for walks I just stop and stare, taking in the view and breathing in the fresh air.

Apparently, experiencing awe and wonder has a physiological effect, and can reduce inflammation within the body and mind, which in turn leads to better immunity, and even lowering the risk of clinical depression. Perhaps it’s a sense of ‘a greater power’ or maybe just a feeling of contentment when looking a something beautiful. Awe-inspiring architecture could presumably have the same effect, but personally I believe that nature has probably got the edge here.

Best wishes,
Wendy x

New research seems to confirm that lowering our stress levels could affect our waistlines too. A study carried out by the journal Biological Psychiatry asked 58 women to eat a high fat meal, also monitoring recent stress levels. After the meal they measured how much enjoy they used, as well as their blood sugar, insulin, fat and cortisol (the stress hormone).

The results very clearly showed that those whose stress levels were higher used up less calories after a meal. On average, stressed people burned 104 fewer calories every day which over the course of the  year could equate to 11lbs of gained weight.

We cannot avoid stress, but by dealing with it more effectively means that our bodies will naturally function better.

Have you ever considered having hypnotherapy to deal with stress?

The other day a lovely client compared our hypnotherapy sessions to having a shot of morphine, such was the deep relaxation she felt. What is also so wonderful about hypnotherapy is that the ‘morphine’ affect lasts as she felt so calm and de-stresses when away from the therapy room too, but without the chemically-induced drowsiness, of course.

So, if you want to feel much better and lose a bit of weight too, please get in touch.

Wendy x