With this being the time when loved ones are being waved off to university, I thought I would write a quick blog about those of us left behind.

My nest isn’t quite empty yet as, although Olly – our eldest – is in his third year at Birmingham Conservatoire, our youngest, Joe, has decided to stay local and started an apprenticeship in sales and business administration. But, as we see a lot less of Joe due to his long working day, it does seem extremely quiet in the house, and I can sympathise with those of you left with that deathly stillness after the teenage maelstrom of the summer.

As parents, we know that one day our children will step out into the wide world, but it doesn’t stop us worrying about them. It sounds silly now but one of the things I worried about when Olly went away was his road sense. His Halls of Residence in Birmingham were on a really busy road, and he had to cross over the Aston highway on the way to lectures, several lanes of busy traffic, and he helpfully told me that sometimes the pedestrian traffic lights didn’t work! Living in the tiny village of Cotton, he wasn’t prepared for these sorts of hazards! But somehow he obviously managed, and now is so street-wise, a real city boy who finds us all extremely provincial.

Although those first few weeks were hard, I realised that I needed to just get on with my own life, trusting in the knowledge that Olly would be ok, he was doing what he loved to do in a city that he felt comfortable in. No doubt there have been hard times, but he has gained so much in maturity over the last two years and is incredibly independent now. Maybe not financially, however, but that’s another story!

For those of you who are packing off their loved ones as I am writing this blog, I send you – and them – my very best wishes.

They will be fine.

Wendy x

Having just returned home from a wonderful holiday in Mauritius with Mr Chalk and it also being the start of the new academic year (even though it was a very long time since I was at school, it always seems like a new beginning) I am filled with a renewed sense of energy and optimism for the future. I realise how lucky I am to have the opportunity to do a job that I love in a beautiful part of the world, with wonderful family and friends to support me.

The past few months have been difficult and sometimes very stressful with worries about elderly parents, children and work commitments, but many of these things have now resolved themselves – temporarily at least – and I believe much calmer waters are ahead.

Sometimes clients tend to think that I don’t have the same problems that they have, that I never feel anxious or stressed, that I never have cravings for fattening food and /or alcohol, that I don’t have phobias (I do,it’s moths, but I have managed work on this). I am, in fact, human, like the rest of us, and I believe that it helps me to understand what others are going through if I have had the same concerns as they have had at some time or other. The difference is that, with my training and understanding of how our minds work, I can sometimes – not always, though – find ways to make myself feel better.

It does seem to be that we often go through different phases in our lives and I believe that I am entering a new chapter where I can gain an even deeper understanding of how I can best help people through their particular challenges, and end up feeling so much better about their situation. I am really looking forward to starting a course in the autumn with the wonderful Penny Simmonds, a local reflexologist and healer, which is about energy healing. This is an area which fascinates me but one which I tend to remain sceptical about, but nevertheless I do believe that this teaching will help with my hypnotherapy practice.

Whatever new areas of study I focus on, I always still remain committed to my core belief in the power and efficacy of hypnotherapy. This is something that I will always remain faithful too, but it doesn’t stop me learning new things, and thereby enriching my practice.

This time of year often sees an influx of new clients, and I really look forward to being able to meet and help as many of you as possible.

Warmest wishes,
Wendy x

With A level results being out today, my heart goes with those students who do not get the grades they wanted. Of course, congratulations must go to those who do well, along with best wishes for their continued studies at their chosen university. A level exams are incredibly hard and I do not hold with the view that standards have been dumbed down – maybe a few years ago it seemed that A grades were being handed out like smarties, but this no longer seems to be the case.

But, to those of you whose future plans seem in tatters due to grades not being achieved, please take stock, this is the beginning of your life and there is so much out there that you can do, things that do not require the requisite As and A stars, and although your life may now go in a slightly different direction, you will one day see that this may have happened for a reason.

My lovely son Joey got his results today, but was a little indifferent, as he has been offered an apprenticeship anyway, but we are exceedingly proud of him for achieving two A levels, even though they are not A grades. He is a wonderful chap and will work hard at his new job. That’s all we ask.

My warmest wishes to all of you whatever was in the envelope this morning. You are very special. May you have a truly happy life.

Wendy x

Although I tend to enjoy a wide range of foods, every so often I do like to try different ways of eating and my current interest is Paleo. Basically this means eating like a caveman in the Paleolithic era, so entails a diet which includes meat, fish, berries, nuts, fruit and vegetables. Grains are not included, as these were only introduced relatively recently, and neither is sugar or processed foods. Dairy can be included, if tolerated, but lots of ‘Paleos’ prefer to keep away from dairy too.

My attraction to this way of eating comes from a desire to eat very little processed food, and it has been a real voyage of discovery finding out how, far from being boring, you can start to discover and experiment with all types of foods and ingredients. As readers of the blog will know I adore baking its almost like a meditation for me (so pleased and excited that the Bake Off is back! Yay!) so have been finding ways I can make cakes, biscuits and sweet treats without the normal flour, sugar and butter. It is a challenge sometimes, but after a lot of experimentation I have found good substitutes, resulting in some delicious bakes which go down really well with the family. Although I have to say the chocolate beetroot cake was not a hit, it was just too, well, beetrooty ….

It’s really interesting to explore different ways of eating, but I would always urge you to never go on fad diets. What’s great about Paleo is that you are eating so healthily, all the foods are unprocessed and you do feel better for it.

What I love is the feeling that whatever stress I encounter, I am treating my body well and not putting extra stress into it in the form of junk, horribly processed, foods.

And, talking of stress, I must recommend a lovely lady called Tracey Hardy who runs Suffolk holistic massage, and who I go to see every once in a while for massages. I went the other morning and came away feeling incredibly calm and chilled out, ready for a quiet afternoon, when I then had a call from my mum to say that my dad needed to be taken urgently to Bury hospital as a wound from an operation had started to bleed profusely. Ah well, it was nice while it lasted …..

I do hope you are all enjoying this wonderful weather,

Best wishes,
Wendy x

My apologies for having been woefully absent from my blogging post of late but family commitments, most notably tending to my lovely mum and dad, have meant that time has not been on my side.

It has been quite a difficult month, beginning with a day spent with my dad in A & E at Ipswich Hospital, after taking him for a birthday meal to Felixstowe, when he was suddenly taken ill with chest pains, initially thought to be caused by a heart attack. This was later found out not to be the case, but the whole episode was quite traumatic nevertheless, and I am so grateful for the support of my family during this time.

What the event has done is brought up the question of care for my mum and dad, who are – amazingly – approaching their nineties, and till now have been able to manage independently and look after themselves in their own home. This is even more incredible, when you consider their exhaustive list of health problems, including failing sight, heart disease, prostate cancer, IBS and a few others.

My family all agree with me that it is important that mum and dad can stay in their own home, so we have organised, through a local private care agency, a carer to come in and help them for a couple of mornings a week. This can then be increased later on if needs be.

Knowing mum and dad, they will be making the carer cups of tea and coffee, so I am going to have to remind them that they need to take it easy and enjoy being looked after themselves for a change!

It is a tremendous weight off my mind that we have now put something in place, and I hope that it will allow them to feel reassured and comfortable having a bit of extra help. I will still be very much involved in their care, and helping them out, but I do feel the burden is lighter for me now, and I can enjoy the nice moments with them more, not just the regular ‘duties’ like hospital visits.

I do feel for anyone going through the challenge of caring for an elderly relative. It is not easy, and what often gets forgotten is that the elderly often experience both mental and physical health issues, which can be very upsetting and worrying for their children. Also, many of their illnesses get put down to ‘old age’ and are therefore not given the attention or treatment they need, and you end up having to continually fight their corner.

I consider myself blessed at having the most wonderful parents, and supportive family around me.

Enjoy this lovely sunshine,
Warmest wishes,
Wendy x

I absolutely love a story in the paper today about an acclaimed choirmaster Barry Todd, who, having been in a coma after an aortic aneurysm, was awoken by a tape of his choir singing the song from Pinocchio ‘Give a little whistle’.

Mr Todd, choir leader of Midland Voices, was taken ill very suddenly, and doctors gave him a 1 in 100 chance of waking up. His wife Carol, not one to give up easily, spent days by his side, playing tapes of his choir to him. How she must have felt when he began whistling to the song ‘Give a little Whistle’ we can only imagine.

Mr Todd, whilst still quite poorly and having had to have his leg amputated, will be going back to his role as choirmaster later this month.

Some would call it the power of the sub-conscious mind, others a simple faith and hope in our ability to triumph over adversity.

Whatever it is, its quite wonderful.

Warmest good wishes to Barry and Carol,

Wendy x

I love the story about the wonderful D-Day veteran Mr Bernard Jordan who, having been told he couldn’t go on the British Legion trip to the 70th anniversary of D-Day, decided to make his own way there, and ‘broke out’ from his old people’s home in Hove.  It shows such devilment and determination, and apparently Mr Jordan had a wonderful time with old comrades, before having to come back to face the music.

So often, when people reach a certain age, they lose their confidence, and end up having a life that is very restrictive and confining. Unfortunately, this becomes a vicious cycle, as the less they do, the less they feel able to do.

I regularly meet with people who find that, on reaching retirement, they lose their confidence in their own abilities, and find any little thing becomes anxiety-provoking. Even people who have had high-powered careers somehow find that, once they retire, they lose their sense of self and end up fearful and anxious about the most basic things.

Once again, it is all about balance. Of course, when we get older, we look forward to having an easier and less stressful life. That’s important, but equally is the sense that we still have some structure and meaning to our lives, whether this means working part-time, finding absorbing hobbies or doing voluntary work. Above all, it is essential that we still have some contact with the outside world, otherwise we can find ourselves retreating into a lonely, tedious world.

Mr Jordan clearly has got the balance right, even though it must have been a little worrying for his care home. He is determined to still ‘get a part of the action’ for want of a better phrase, I do hope he will not get into too much trouble, and that they have booked him onto next year’s trip.

Hope I’m still naughty at ninety.

Wendy x

This week marks the 70th anniversary of the D-Day landings, a pivotal moment in World War II which then lead to the allies defeat of Germany in 1945.

Whilst my dear dad, who will be 88 soon, was not there at the time, he did sail to the Normandy beaches sometime after the landings on a Royal Navy minesweeper, with the object of finding the undetonated mines and clearing this area of them. We cannot comprehend the bravery of the troops who served in this war and WWI, and in the many conflicts since. This is impossible, even with the many films, accounts and images that are relayed to us as, unless you are actually there in the situation, you do not go through the experience. Many of these boys were not yet 20, and yet had to endure the most traumatic experiences, that if they survived, would still leave them with severe emotional, if not physical scars.

Post-traumatic stress disorder is thankfully now recognised as an illness, but it was not always so. I am currently reading a wonderful book ‘Regeneration’ by Pat Barker which is about the First World War Hospital Craiglockhart and the psychiatric treatment of shell shock under the direction of Dr W.Rivers. Rivers was reasonably enlightened in terms of his understanding of how war mentally damaged young soldiers, but was caught between this empathy with the men and his duty as a war doctor to get troops back to the front as quickly as possible. Amongst his patients were the First World War poets Siegfried Sasson and Wilfred Owen, who wrote so descriptively of their experiences, so that we are able to still have an insight into this brutal conflict. Another patient, an emaciated soldier called Burns, was sick every time he ate, as he had been blown up by a mine and had landed on the dead body of a German, which was bloated with gas, and the impact of Burns had made him explode. As I write this, I feel sick myself, these are terrors that would have caused the most resilient person to break down. And yet, at the time, shell shock was not fully recognised and thought by some to be a cowardly way to avoid service.

Thank goodness that we are now so far from this, yet we still have to make sure that we find the most effective treatments for post-traumatic stress, and make them available for all those affected by the traumas of war.

I am signed up to the National Council for Hypnotherapy’s ‘Help for Heroes’ campaign, which means that I offer one free session of hypnotherapy to any serving armed forces men or women who have experienced PTSD and feel that hypnosis would help them.

Do please get in touch if you, or anyone you know would like to find out more. My telephone number is 01449780352 or 07817158429 or you can email me at wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.

Best wishes,
Wendy x

I do hope you have enjoyed our recent May bank holidays. This last weekend I had the dubious pleasure of organising the cricket tea for my son’s team, which he sprang on me Thursday evening. Having to provide sandwiches and cake for 22 hungry men turned out to be a quite enjoyable exercise, as I do love baking and – only having immediate family to make cakes for – I tend to only do it occasionally, as we would all be the size of houses. So, the idea of being able to bake a whole range of cakes for others was strangely satisfying.

As I worked in my kitchen over the weekend, happy in my meditative cake baking trance, it did occur to me that there had been a time when I couldn’t have done something like this, due to my dysfunctional relationship with food. In the past, I tended to bake and cook much less than I do now, as even though I loved it I knew, surrounded by all that food, I would be tempted to gorge on it (either in its unbaked or baked state) and end up feeling sick and disgusted with myself.

Since having had hypnotherapy many years ago for weight loss, I have been able to indulge my love of cooking as I now have a balanced and healthy relationship with food. No longer in that vicious cycle of fad diets followed by massive binges, I enjoy food so much more, as I realise that I am the one who is in control and I CAN be free to eat whatever I want, at any time. Bizarrely this ultimate freedom from destructive patterns if thinking and behaviour makes for a much more disciplined mindset around food, not in a restrictive way, but just finding that it feels better to eat smaller quantities of healthy food, and allowing for occasional treats too!

So, I did really enjoy my few days baking for the cricket team, and what was really lovely was how well it was appreciated by the players. Mr Chalk was there to help me, so we had a good time, not sure that I would like to do it every weekend, however!

If you have been thinking of hypnotherapy for weight loss, as you really feel ready to try something different, do contact me on 07817158429 or 01449780352. I would be happy to tell you more about it and how it could make such a lasting difference to your life.

Best wishes,
Wendy x