I would say that on average I see an equal number of men to women in my practice, but weirdly of late I seem to have been seeing mainly men.

This is so welcome as it is a sign that men are beginning to feel much more open about dealing with their mental health. Although I do wonder what the postman thinks of me as every time I see him, I seem to be ushering one male client in, then another one out. I assure you I am not running that type of establishment.

I am seeing male clients with a variety of different issues, including work stress, social anxiety, addictions and negative behaviours. It is so rewarding to be able to help these menfolk as in many cases they do not feel able to speak to family or friends about their issues. Despite all the campaigns, adverts, celebrities sharing their mental health problems, the old conditioning of the male needing to be strong and steadfast and not showing any weakness is deep-rooted. Also, in practice, help and support for mental health generally is very thin on the ground.

Having my own 2 boys (well, men now really but they will always be boys to me) and the lovely Mr Chalk, I know a little bit about how men’s minds work. And yes, in a lot of ways they are SO different to women.

I am privileged to have the opportunity to support so many dads, grandads, brothers, sons, husbands and partners.

If you feel that I could help you or a loved one, please get in touch.

best wishes,

Wendy x

It is strange how sometimes things seem to come full circle.

Almost exactly 30 years ago I began IVF treatment at Bourn Hall as Mr Chalk and I were having fertility issues. They did things a little bit differently then as their knowledge and expertise was obviously nowhere near as comprehensive as it is now.

Although we did not realise it at the time I was given very strong drugs to stimulate egg production, the idea being that the more eggs I produced the more chance there would be healthy ones that available that could be fertilised and re-implanted in the womb. I so clearly remember being woken up after the anaesthetic by a nurse who couldn’t contain her excitement at telling me that my ovaries had produced a massive 28 eggs! Tellingly, egg sandwiches were on the menu for lunch that day …..

It was clear to me that my ovaries were in good working order, although looking back now I was probably hyper stimulated, which can be a very dangerous condition to be in.

Out of my two dozen plus egg haul there were a total of 15 healthy ones so these were put with Mr Chalk’s contribution, resulting in 11 fertilised embryos. A whole football team, no less! Three healthy ones were popped back in, we called these Huey, Duey and Lewy. I was then scanned again a couple of weeks later and discovered I was expecting twins. We renamed these two bleep and booster. We could not contain our joy but it was very early days.

Sadly, at a ten week scan, only one baby had survived. It was a difficult time and there was obviously much anxiety throughout my pregnancy. We were so lucky then to welcome wonderful little Olly into the world on 14th November, 1993. I always wanted to be a mum and it is difficult to express how blessed I felt. IVF treatment was very much in its infancy at that time and we were so lucky to have our baby after this one attempt.

Olly was joined by Joey two years later, who was conceived naturally, a wonderful surprise!

I am so full of gratitude for my amazing boys.

Women’s bodies are truly incredible, aren’t they? As a 60 year old menopausal women, mine has served me well and continues to do so.

A few days ago I said goodbye to my ovaries, almost 30 years to the day since they produced that massive horde of eggs. Last year a cyst was found on one of them, a strange thing called a teratoma which can consist of hair, teeth and skin (eww!) and so I was advised to have them removed. I have been lucky enough to have had the most wonderfully kind and caring surgeon who looked after me beautifully throughout. I was not sad, but thankful when I came round from the anaesthetic. Our bodies go through so much but it is my belief that they are really quite miraculous.

Egg sandwiches, anybody?😉

Wendy xx

I have been watching a rather disgusting programme recently called ‘Know your sxxx’ on Channel 4. The premise of the show is that they help people with various gut related problems to get to the bottom (sorry!) of what is actually happening inside their digestive systems.

People coming on to the show bravely present with all sorts of problems such as stinky burps, runny poos, constipation, loud farts – sorry if you are eating while reading this! They are then asked to discuss lifestyle and diet issues with a resident nutritionist and also their poo is examined to check if there are any sinister bugs residing in it.

The latest episode involved exploring the connection between the gut and the brain which many people are unaware of. There is a large nerve called the vagus nerve which runs from the brain to the gut and what this means is that there is a very strong symbiosis between the two organs. If you have a healthy gut it tends to mean that you are going to be feeling mentally and emotionally healthy too. The signals also go in the other direction, with the result that an anxious and stressed person may feel this angst in their digestive system. This is sometimes referred to as irritable bowel syndrome or IBS.

The National Institute for Clinical Excellence (NICE) recommends hypnotherapy for treating IBS symptoms, although sadly GPS do not always pass this information on to patients. Instead patients are given medication which could be indigestion remedies and/or anti-depressants.

I was therefore so pleased when a chap who appeared on the show was given a course of gut directed hypnotherapy, with amazing results. He was a tradesman and regularly travelled with a bucket and toilet paper in his van, although strangely he had never had to use it. This behaviour seemed to indicate that he had talked himself into having gut problems, when in actual fact things were not as bad as he thought they were. He was, however, highly stressed and anxious so it was wonderful that these symptoms as well as his perceived gut problems were cured with the hypnotherapy treatment.

If you have been diagnosed with IBS, I would urge you to consider a course of hypnotherapy, you will end up feeling so much better.

I am going to be off for about a month or so due to having surgery, but I am booking appointments from mid March onwards. Oh, it will nearly be spring then, yay!

Warmest wishes everyone,

Wendy xx

Fortunately the tide seems to be turning against the old tendency to brush menopause under the carpet, the old attitude of ‘you just have to get on with it’ or even the slightly sniggering jibes about the ‘change’ having been cast aside. Instead, there is an increasing acceptance that women should be able to talk openly about their menopause symptoms and also have access to all the resources they need.

We have much more information now than ever before about the menopause and the peri menopause (this refers to the period of time leading up to full menopause when you may begin to have symptoms), although there is still so much more research to be done.

As a therapist I see many women between the ages of 35 and 60 who come to me with the following symptoms: weight gain; insomnia; anxiety; irritability; joint pain; headaches. Whilst these may not be related to the menopause or peri-menopause, it is important to dig a bit deeper and maybe suggest that the client sees their GP or even a menopause specialist for further investigation. I have even had clients in this category who experience a sudden onset phobia, not knowing that this could also be related to hormonal changes.

If you suspect that you are experiencing physiological or emotional symptoms that could be related to the menopause or peri menopause, it is important to book an appointment with your GP or a menopause specialist. You might be advised to take HRT and indeed, this can be a life saver for many women. I would also suggest that you do as much research as you can on the subject. There is an excellent book by the hypnotherapist Sophie Fletcher called ‘Mindful Menopause’ which is a real treasure chest of information. She advocates having a menopause plan and this can include addressing lifestyle habits, finding exercise which is going to help alleviate your symptoms as well as eating a nourishing Mediterranean diet.

Of course, I would add that hypnotherapy can be an incredibly powerful tool to help you feel your best self during these sometimes turbulent years.

Best wishes everyone,

Wendy xx

After a turbulent 2022 that many of us will be glad to see the back of, we can (hopefully!) look forward to a much more settled and peaceful new year.

Last year for me was pretty mixed but generally fairly good. Mr Chalk and myself celebrated our 60th birthdays by doing a lot of ‘stuff’, including seeing live gigs, trying new foodie places and far flung travel. The highlight of this was a wonderful trip to Cambodia in November. We feel so blessed to have been able to experience this amazing country and meet its lovely people.

Health wise, I have had a few blips, including a cancer scare earlier on in the year. This fortunately turned out to be negative but then I had surgery for another issue in the autumn and this has taken longer to recover from than I had expected.

As we start this new year, we can make the usual resolutions to lose 3 stone, drink less, get more organised etc. But I would argue that, instead of trying to do things that are unrealistic in the longer term, it is better to maybe chose just one simple thing that you would like to achieve and work towards that. Or, do away with resolutions completely.

From what I have learned over the years from my amazing clients, the essential thing is to go easy on ourselves, show kindness to others and live each day to the full.

happy new year everyone,

Wendy xx

I am thrilled to have recently been informed that I am going to be a great aunt.

I must admit to having visions of a rather stiff Victorian matron when I think about that term, but I rather hope that I shall be more on the funny, eccentric end of the spectrum.

I have already offered myself for babysitting, an offer which has been gratefully received, I am pleased to say. It will be lovely to have a new baby in the family in a few months time.

Sadly, for many couples, getting pregnant is not so easy and they have to endure endless rounds of IVF, often very costly and hugely stressful. I understand this all to well as our eldest was an IVF baby. We were incredibly lucky to be successful first time round, but many are not so fortunate.

It has been my great privilege to have been able to help several couples through the stress of fertility treatment. Of course, I can never offer a guarantee of there being a baby at the end of all this, but what I can do is help the couple to feel relaxed, calm and confident through the process.

If you are going through the stress of fertility treatment and feel in need of support, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Warmest (but not too warm) wishes,

Wendy.

Whilst my initial training (way back in 2009) was in hypnotherapy and NLP, over the subsequent years I have added to my toolbox with a variety of different therapy techniques and modalities.

One of the therapies that I studied resonated with me particularly and I still use it regularly with clients.

Solution focused therapy had its beginnings in the 1970s with Steve de Shazer and Insoo Kim Berg, two American psychiatrists who observed the work of therapists in an inner city outpatient mental health service. They wanted to be able to identify which questions and techniques brought about the most significant change in clients with a full range of mental health issues.

Using this information, they established brief solution focused therapy. This meant working with the client to find exceptions (situations where the problem was not present) and helping them to use these situations as exemplars of how they could deal with the problem. They also employed the use of the ‘miracle question’. Basically this means encouraging the client to use their imagination and asking them ‘what if a miracle happened in the middle of the night and the problem had then disappeared the next day? How would your day be different?

I use this ‘miracle question’ a lot with clients. Sometimes it takes them a while to really think about how things would be without the problem, as they may have had the issue for so long. Once they respond, however, it is like opening a magic door in their mind, and they begin to see how life could be for them. I then use this information within the hypnosis session, planting those positive seeds inside the subconscious, with often the most amazing results.

Hypnosis is such a wonderful therapy, but even more magical when it is combined with other modalities such as solution focused therapy.

If you are tired of trying other therapies and experiencing little or no improvement, I urge you to try a new way. You will not be disappointed.

best wishes,

Wendy xx

I wonder if, like me, you enjoyed watching the platinum jubilee events over this last weekend. To be very honest I am a bit of an anti royalist and I do feel that the whole circus needs to be trimmed down substantially.

Therefore it came as a bit of a surprise to me that I did feel quite emotional watching some of the events, in particular the service at St Paul’s, the Trooping of the colour and the wonderful procession on Sunday.

The last few years of my mum and dad’s lives were sadly fraught with trauma, poor health and challenging issues. As cynical as it may sound, their passing did come as a sort of relief. No-one ever prepares you for the difficulties in caring for elderly parents and it was a hugely stressful time.

This last weekend’s events seemed to stir new thoughts and emotions and I realised that I was missing my mum and dad. I remembered how, when Kate and William got married, I invited mum and dad over for a champagne lunch and we watched the whole thing on TV. This was when their health was still just about ok and I have such fond memories of that day. I felt so close to them.

Grief is a strange thing and it can hit you at any time, it really is intensely personal and doesn’t follow a set of rules.
It is important to realise this and allow ourselves to feel a whole gamut of emotions. There is no ‘normal’.

My mum and dad would have been especially tickled by the Paddington Bear sketch.

Warmest wishes,

Wendy xx

I was so pleased to read about Robbie Williams having reached a state of happiness. We are all aware of his past difficulties and it does seem now that he has finally found some peace at last.

This may in some ways be due to the steadying influence of his lovely wife Ayda and the joy of having children. He also seems to have been clean of any addictions for some time now.

I think that it could also be down to his having discovered a new creative outlet. With the architect who designed his house he has been working on some art which is now to be exhibited at Sotheby’s. Whether or not you like his work, I’m sure that the creative fulfilment he gets from this is a massive boost to his mental health.

I may have mentioned the concept of ‘flow’ before in my blog and this applies to the feeling you get when you become totally absorbed in an activity. This could be painting, music, sculpture, writing or indeed anything which engages the left hand side of your brain, that part of your mind connected to creativity, imagination and intuition.

I often advise my clients to devote time to creative endeavours. It doesn’t really matter about it being ‘good’, in any case everything is subjective, but to simply become completely absorbed in doing something which you love doing. It is like having a rest for the brain, switching the chattering side of the mind off.

Create away, Robbie.

Some of the issues I treat are a bit like buses, you don’t see any at all for ages, then 3 come along at once. This happens to be the case at the moment for my stop smoking hypnotherapy treatment. One of the people who contacted me said she had been recommended to me by her cousin and aunt, who had remained non smokers for 5 and 7 years respectively.

Its a different issue to the others that I treat and for that reason requires a slightly different process. If you decide that you would like to see me for stop smoking treatment, this is what happens :

1. You come to see me for an initial chat which lasts about 45 minutes. This consultation is very important because it means I can find out more about you and your smoking habit, so that I can then tailor the hypnotherapy specifically for you. You can also ask me any questions that you have about the treatment. It’s essential that we ascertain your commitment to stopping smoking. Sometimes it is clear that the client is not quite ready to stop, so I would urge that they wait a while before they book. If however they are fully committed, we can then book a date for treatment.
2. You attend for the main hypnotherapy session, this lasts about 90 minutes. It is a really relaxing and calming experiencing and will result in you having no further desire or craving for tobacco. I also record a hypnosis download for you to use at home.
3. I offer an extra follow up hypnotherapy session, to be taken whenever you like. Very often my clients use this to address another issue, as the smoking is already sorted.

The cost of the treatment is £160. There is no charge for the initial consultation, you only really pay for the hypnotherapy sessions and the download.

Making the decision to stop smoking is hands down one of the best things you can do for your health, at any age. Do get in touch if you would like to book an appointment.

Best wishes,

Wendy x