My heart goes out to Tony Nicklinson, the former doctor suffering ‘locked-in’ sydrome after a massive stroke in 2005, as he has just had his request for the right to end his life refused by the high court. Tony, a previously very active and very outgoing man who lived his life to the full, has campaigned (along with his family) to have the ability to instruct his GP or another doctor to end his life.  He feels that he has no quality of life at all, and his family are supporting him in his wish for a dignified end. It seems that, for the moment at least, this is a step too far for this country. 
Whatever you feel about this case, it brings home to you how quickly circumstances can change, and how we can find ourselves in situations in which we have very little control.  Life is precious, but I believe that the right to say goodbye if the quality of our life is so poor should be down to the individual, and if, as in Tony’s case, he faces possibly another 30 years of this, surely he should be allowed to end his life in a dignified and gentle way, with his family and loved ones around him.

I know that there are many people who will have opposing views to myself, and this is a controversial issue, but it also brings home to the fact that we should be so thankful if we have good health, and live every day to the full as long as we are able.

All the best,
Wendy x

I hope that you have all enjoyed the 4-day weekend in honour of the Queen’s jubilee.  Despite slightly dodgy weather, it was lovely to see the whole country come together to celebrate, and there seemed to be a real groundswell of love directed towards the Queen, who, it has to be said, has served her country loyally and well.  For somebody well into her eighties, she seems to be in an excellent state of health and still able to fulfil a punishing work schedule.  Some of you may say that she has had a comparatively easy life with endless privelege and, whilst this may be true, it is still astounding how she carries on year after year, with a determined stoicism, in the service of her country. 

The Queen clearly has a strong sense of duty and purpose, and it is my belief that this is a major factor in keeping well as we approach old age. If our lives lose meaning, we can then find that we feel somehow useless and detached from the community around us.  It is my great privilege to have some older clients, and I find that I am endlessly inspired by them, and the circumstances that they have encountered in their lives.  Depression is actually quite common and little recognised in old age (as it can be mistaken for other conditions), and it is usually a result of a number of factors which can include bereavement, poor physical health, loneliness and loss of purpose.

In my view, the greatest of these is loss of purpose, although some would argue against this.  However I really feel that if somebody has a purpose in life, however trivial this may seem (looking after a beloved pet would count) then this tends to lessen the negative affect of the other difficulties.

Us baby boomers know that we will still be working till a ripe old age, but I do not necessarily think this is a bad thing.  As long as we are able to work, I think we should be allowed to continue.  Obviously a balance needs to be struck, and we should be mindful that we may not be able to do the same hours as we did in our 20s, but there is no reason to stop at 65 if we still feel able to carry on.

Society is changing, people are generally healthier and living for longer and the old days of getting the gold watch and then settling down in slippers to watch the snooker are well and truly over.  Many retired people are finding that, even if they have their health and the support and companionship of a partner, unless they still feel a sense of usefulness (whatever form this may take) then something seems to be missing from their lives.

Evidently, the important thing is to strike a balance – to have time to relax and do those things that are enjoyable for us, and we know that in the case of the Queen it is her family and her love of her dogs and horses – but also to feel that we are still able to contribute to society in some way.

Best wishes to you all,
Wendy x

A news item published last week in the popular press announced that more and more people were being prescribed sleeping pills.  This is a deeply worrying trend, as these types of drug can tend to be addictive and, unless the medication is accompanied by a course of treatment which tackles the underlying reasons for insomnia, then there is likely to be a dependency on the sleeping tablet.

Hypnotherapy is really effective at helping to establish good quality sleep patterns – I know this, as most of my clients who do not even present with sleep problems, report to having much better sleep after a course of hypnosis.

The therapy itself is extremely relaxing, and with each client that I see, I prepare an individual CD which they can then use before bedtime to help them turn off that ‘chattering’ part of their mind, and to allow them to slip into a state of deep relaxation.  We can also look at their ‘sleep hygiene’, and this addresses their diet, lifestyle and their general bedtime routine, in order to flag up possible causes of their insomnia.  In addition, if the client is going through a particularly stressful time, we can look at ways which will help deal with this stress, so that – come night time – these worries and anxieties can be filed away, allowing a healthy, natural sleep to be enjoyed.

If you would like to try a natural, healthy and lasting way to deal with insomnia, please contact me on 01449 780352 or 0781 7158429, or email me at wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.

Best wishes,
Wendy x

I am currently studying the work of Joe Griffin and Ivan Tyrell, the co-founders of the ‘Human Givens’ psychotherapy model.  At the heart of this is that, as human beings, we all have physical and emotional needs and these include feeling:

* secure at work, home and in your immediate environment;
* that you both give and receive enough attention;
* that you are in control of your life most of the time;
* part of the wider community;
* able to obtain privacy when you need to;
* that you have an imitate relationship in your life with at least one person (this could be a close friend);
* that you have an emotional connection to others;
* that you have status, which is acknowledged;
* that you are achieving things and that you are competent in at least one major area of your life;
* that you are mentally and/or physically stretched in ways which give you a sense of meaning and purpose

An imbalance in any of these areas is likely to cause symptoms of stress, anxiety, anger, depression and/or addiction and by highlighting areas in your life where your essential needs are not being met you are able to do an effective life audit, which in turn can lead to working out ways that you can put your life back into balance.

This type of therapy is practical, solution-focused and highly effective and I am increasingly incorporating it in my hypnotherapy practice, with excellent results.

If you would like to know more about the Human Givens, or indeed about hypnotherapy in general, please contact me on 01449 780352/0781 7158429, or email me: wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.

Best wishes,
Wendy

M’y sincere apologies for not having ‘blogged’ for several weeks now, but things have been particularly hectic in the Chalk household, with two boys studying for their GCSEs, my husband very busy (and at times needing my help) with his marketing business, my lovely mum and dad requiring occasional help, and also – I am very pleased to say – lots of hypnotherapy clients.

I do feel so very blessed to have such a busy and varied life, but sometimes it is nice to have a few days of peace and quiet, so I have been looking forward to enjoying a little break over Easter.  Mr Chalk and I will therefore be going away just after Easter for several days, but this is a mini-break with a difference.

We have both been on the Anthony Nolan bone marrow donor list for some years, but to date have not been matched as a prospective donor to a leukaemia sufferer. However, last November the Anthony Nolan organisation contacted Mr Chalk, informing him that he could be a prospective match, and after lots of tests, medicals and form-filling, it is all now going ahead, so I will be accompanying him to the London Clinic next week to have his bone marrow harvested and given to someone on the list.  We are not allowed to know the details of the recipient at present, but I believe that after a period of time and if the recipient wishes it, some contact can be made.

It is a fairly straight forward process these days, and Mr Chalk does not have to have a general anaesthetic, as the bone marrow is drawn intravenously.  However, he will have to have a significant number of injections beforehand, in order to stimulate the stem cells.  These injections will have the effect of making him feel as though he has a mild case of flu. As Mr Chalk says, this will be nothing compared to what the recipient has had to go through.

Nevertheless, we are all very proud of him and I couldn’t think of a nicer way to spend a few days holiday this easter time than helping my husband to provide this wonderful gift to someone in need.

Take care everyone,

Wendy x

I was sad to read about the fact that earlier in the year the lovely Ronnie Corbett had been diagnosed with depression, after having been ill over Christmas.  Apparently he had had a knee operation before Christmas, and then collapsed in a restaurant due to low blood pressure.  This had the effect of making him feel quite anxious and fragile, so his GP sent him to a psychiatrist at the Priory in London.  It was actually found that the medication that he was on was causing him these symptoms, and happily the psychiatrist found little that was wrong with Ronnie that couldn’t be sorted out by an adjustment of his medication and some rest.

Very often I see people who are on a whole cocktail of different drugs, and whilst I acknowledge the fact that some of these may be absolutely necessary for certain conditions and in fact keeping the person alive, I do feel that in some cases GPs have a tendency to dish out drugs when they are not really needed.  My brother works as an ENT specialist, and he could not understand why he was having more and more people (particularly the elderly) presenting with nose bleeds.  He then realised it was because many of them were being prescribed aspirin and/or warfarin and so there was an increased tendency to bleed more easily.

There have been wonderful advances in drug therapy, particularly when it comes to life-threatening illnesses like cancer or indeed devastating life-limiting conditions such as alzheimers.  It is evident that research and funding into these types of drugs should be encouraged, and the drugs themselves should be readily available to those who need them, but I do wonder about the wisdom of GPs doling out drugs, when maybe (given further examination and advice on the patient’s lifestyle, diet and circumstances) they are not strictly necessary.

It is rare that I have a client who is taking no medication at all, and some are taking drugs to counteract the side effects of the other drugs they are taking.  Surely, this is a ridiculous situation?

You may have particular views on this issue – I would very much welcome your comments.  Please do email me on wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.

Best wishes,
Wendy

This week is Eating Disorders Awareness week.  So many families seem to be touched in some way by an eating disorder, whether this is anorexia, bulimia or perhaps overeating, and fortunately the government now seem to be finally waking up to the fact that more has to be done to help people in this situation.

When I see a client with an eating disorder, it very often tends to have been triggered off by an emotional or upsetting event, perhaps occurring in childhood or adolescence.  This has invariably lead to a need to have some form of control, and so in the case of anorexia it can mean severely controlling the amount of food which is eaten, and also possibly accompanied by a compulsion to exercise, so that the person becomes dangerously thin and their general health suffers.  In the case of someone with bulimia, or a compulsion to overeat, there is a need to control or dampen down strong emotions, and this is done by eating vast quantities of (usually) high calorie, nutrient-poor food.  With eating disorders, sometimes there may be a history of abuse, but this is not always the case.  There may also be relationship difficulties with one or other parent, but again, every case is different.

Hypnotherapy can be very effective in dealing with eating disorders.  We tend to work first of all on identifying the root cause and dealing with the emotions that relate to this, and then building up self-esteem and confidence.  Sometimes progress is slow, but it is important that the client is given the resources to begin to feel better about themselves.  My treatment would not involve going into detail on the food aspect of the disorder, as I believe that this is merely the symptom, and not the root issue which has caused the disorder in the first place.

If you feel that you may be suffering from an eating disorder, and believe that hypnotherapy could help, please call me for a chat.  My number is 01449 780352, or 0781 7158429.  Or you can email me on wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.

Best wishes,
Wendy

As Mr Chalk and myself are celebrating our 50th birthdays this year, we had been pondering on what to do to mark this quite special milestone.   Do we have a party and invite friends and family?  Do we take the boys on a wonderful holiday? Do we go somewhere exotic ourselves?

Well, call us selfish if you want, but we have opted for the latter, and have just booked a 2-week break later in the year in Bali and I am really excited about it.  I am sure that many people will feel that it is not quite the thing to just slope off somewhere lovely, just the two of us, but – as we saying the other day – now we are getting older we seem to have developed a ‘do what we want to do’ mentality (within reason of course).  This does not mean that we are neglecting our nearest and dearest at all, but we know the value of treating ourselves once in a while.  To borrow that quote from a well-known beauty brand ‘Because we’re worth it’.

Its funny but just lately I feel a real shift in my thinking towards trusting my own intuition more, and doing what seems right and natural.  This may be as simple as going for comfort when it comes to clothes, to doing things that maybe I wouldn’t have done before, because I felt that it wasn’t for me.   I feel more a sense of freedom, a need to follow my own path, and not be hypnotised by what society tells me I should or shouldn’t do.  I’m not sure if this comes from the feeling that, the older you get, life seems to race by even faster, and the sense of your own mortality is much more sharply in focus.

But, in the same way that I feel the need to ‘plough my own furrow’ as it were, I also feel a need to contribute in some way, and I am so grateful that my career gives me the opportunity to help people to change their lives, as this gives my life a meaning that it otherwise would not have.  As always, its all about achieving a balance.

Perhaps you are approaching a milestone birthday, and its making you re-assess things.  I’d love to hear your thoughts.  Do contact me on wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.

Wendy x

I have just finished reading ‘Diets don’t work’ by Bob Schwarz, and it has made for fascinating reading.  Schwarz challenges the idea that the only way to become slim is to follow endless diets, and actually maintains that by doing this, we end up becoming fatter than we were in the beginning.

It does seem to be the case that ever since the diet industry began in earnest (1970s) we have been getting fatter.  The obesity crisis seems to have reached epidemic levels, with more and more people seriously overweight and resorting to bariatric surgery (gastric by-passes or bands).  Many of the clients who come to me with weight issues tend to be people who have tried every diet going, been to slimming clubs or tried meal replacement diets, and they have ended up even more overweight.

It is true that following a diet which is fairly low in calories will result in weight loss, AS LONG AS YOU STICK TO IT.   The problem is that, as soon as you revert to your normal eating habits, you will generally put the weight back on, and often more.  With many people caught in this vicious cycle of dieting and then overeating, it is no wonder that we have an obesity crisis on our hands.  The other thing that happens when people go on strict diets is that their metabolism slows right down, and so they are no longer burning off the calories at a reasonable rate.  What then happens when they eat ‘normally’ is that the metabolic rate is so slow, that the weight goes back on really quickly.

Schwarz advises that to become naturally thin, you simply need to follow these steps:

eat when you are hungry
stop when you are full
eat what you want to eat, not what you think you should eat
eat consciously and enjoy every mouthful

I think that the problem is, this is almost too simple.  People feel that losing weight should not be that easy, that it should be punishing, difficult and involve sacrifice and this is one of the reasons why many people still sign up for the diets and the slimming clubs.

The idea of actually starting to tune into your body’s natural hunger signals seems revolutionary, particularly as we tend to eat for many other reasons beside actual hunger – when we are happy, sad, angry, irritated, tired, lonely, bored – and I think that this is the key to lasting slimness.  Once we can address the emotional aspects of our relationship with food, then we can start to be aware of eating patterns that are keeping us overweight.

Being able to finally realise that what you have been doing to your body in the form of dieting and then usually followed by overeating is tremendously liberating, and actually starting to listen to your body, and its hunger signals can be the beginning of a whole new you, healthier, fitter and naturally slim.

If you would like to find out how hypnotherapy can help you to finally put an end to dieting, and discover the freedom of eating the way that nature intended, do contact me on 01449 780352 or 0781 7158421, or email me on wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.

Best wishes,
Wendy x

With one boy doing A levels and the other doing GCSEs this year, I am all too aware of the pressure on young people these days and it makes me so angry when people talk about dumbing down of standards.  I am a graduate but can honestly say that a lot of what my boys are studying is way over my head, and the fact that they are constantly assessed in school from the age of 7 means that there is this relentless need to perform to certain standards.

I have also noticed that exams are continually retaken in order to improve grades, and I do wonder if this is in the student’s interest or the school’s.  It seems that league tables are the absolute be-all-and-end-all, without there being a focus on a more rounded education, or the social/psychological well-being of the children.

My youngest son brought home a letter from school the other day, asking for our permission to let him resit a science exam as he had only obtained a ‘B’ grade.  Well in my book a ‘B’ is actually fairly good, so we have told him that he does not need to resit unless he feels it is necessary.  He is not intending to do astro-physics as a career, so I feel that it would be better for him to not have this extra pressure.

I strongly believe that testing children regularly from an early age is counterproductive and stifles their natural creativity.  The wonderful Steiner schools have the philosophy that the more children are allowed free rein to play, draw, create and just use their imagine, the better they will learn and also the happier they will be.  Without being forced to learn, they tend to develop a natural curiosity about life which means that, when they are ready, they can soak up learning like a sponge.

To illustrate my point a little more, my eldest son started learning the piano when he was 13 – this was to be a diversion for him, so no grades or exams, no complicated set pieces to learn, just for his amusement.  Without any pressure on him, he has come to love the piano so much over the past five years – and this has been partly due to the enthusiasm of his wonderful teacher, Ken – that he decided he wants to make a career in it, as a jazz pianist.  After having not sat any piano exams at all, he took his Grade 8 last year (as he needed this to get to music college) and passed with flying colours.   It is my firm belief that by letting him do something that he wanted to do, but not forcing him to do exams, has enabled his love of the instrument to emerge.   Obviously, it would be impossible to abolish exams and testing, but I really feel that children would thrive more in an environment where there was less restriction and pressure on them (and also on their teachers).

Maybe you have some comments on this subject.  I would be really pleased to hear from you, so do email me on wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.

Best wishes,
Wendy