Many of the clients I see tend to consider hypnotherapy as a last resort – very often they have tried absolutely everything else and nothing has worked, so they contact a hypnotherapist in desperation to finally find a solution to their problem.  I am not sure why this is, but perhaps it is because hypnosis and hypnotherapy still has echoes of the dodgy character swinging the watch on a chain, urging the client to fall into a ‘deep, deep sleep’ and thereby losing complete control of what he is doing or saying.

If this is the case then it is not wonder that many people are still quite reluctant to seek the help of a hypnotherapist.  The idea of losing control would be very scary to a lot of people, and this would definitely put them off, if this is their perception of the hypnotherapeutic process.

In reality the experience of hypnotherapy is not at all like this, and in fact many people I see are actually quite surprised that they still feel ‘conscious’ and very much aware of what is going on around them.  In addition, they are totally in control at all times and able to come back to full alertness if they want to.

In reality, being hypnotised is quite simply being guided into a very relaxed state, where you feel as if you are having a little daydream, or perhaps just about to drop off to sleep, but strangely at the same time, almost ‘hyperfocussed’.   Your subconscious mind (that is, the creative and imaginative part of your mind which stores all your memories and experiences) is switched on, and thus able to absorb all the positive and helpful suggestions given by the hypnotherapist.  And there is no need to remember it all, as it is all very deeply embedded in the subconscious mind.

And the added bonus, besides being able to deal directly with the problem in question, is that the hypnosis session makes you feel very calm and relaxed, giving the body and mind a wonderful, therapeutic rest.

So, next time there is something which you (or a family member) are suffering from, and which has an emotional or psychological root cause, consider hypnotherapy as your first resort, not your last.

If you would like to find out more about how hypnotherapy can help you, please contact me on 01449 780352 or 0781 7158429, or email me on wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.  I look forward to hearing from you.

Best wishes,
Wendy

Yesterday, outside Parliament, a group called ‘Endangered Bodies’ launched a protest against dieting, part of a campaign called ‘Ditching Dieting’ which aims to alert MPs and the public to the way in which the dieting industry ‘destabilises women’s and girls’ appetites and desires’.  This was timed to coincide with a parliamentary enquiry into the causes and consequences of body image anxiety.

The group argues that the multi-million pound dieting industry thrives on women actually failing to keep weight lost, as they then have to continue to attend slimming clubs and follow diets for most of their lives.  Very often, they claim, the women actually end up weighing more than they started, in fact their research has shown that 95% of diets fail with people putting lost weight back on, and even increasing to more than their pre-diet weight, within a 5-year period.

The slimming clubs are in the business of making money and it is evident that it would not be in their interest to make everyone slim in one fell swoop and for this weight to be kept off, as they would then go out of business.  One of the slimming clubs made a claim with their latest diet plan (this time last year) ‘lose weight for the last time’ and I must admit that it did make me laugh, as if their claim was true, then I think that their shareholders would have had something to say about it!

I think the great flaw in diets and slimming clubs is that many women are ‘good’ whilst on the diet, but as soon as they come off it they revert back to old habits, and so put the weight (and much more) back on.  And, cynically, this is where the slimming clubs have their draw, enticing the women back again and again in order to reach the shape and weight they feel they should be (or, more accurately, what the media/dieting industry tells them they should be).

My argument has always been that once you limit yourself to certain diets or food plans, this means that you actually become obsessive about food, and much more inclined to binge on the bad stuff.  I think that if you can really listen to your body and get back in touch with the feeling of actually being hungry, you will then start to develop a much more healthy relationship with food, as opposed to saying ‘well its 12.30 now, so I will have my cup-a-soup and my salad’.   And, if you fancy certain foods that are more fattening, then eat them, but limit the amount that you have.

I must admit that I have spent years in the past being on every kind of diet, and ending up putting all the weight back on.  It was only when, through hypnotherapy, I found out the root cause of my overweight, that I managed to start eating healthily and feeling good about myself.   I will never be a size 8, but I have accepted that this is not my shape, and happy to hover between a 12 and 14.   I love food and cooking, and feel much happier not depriving myself of anything anymore.  And, for the past 10 years, my weight has more or less remained the same, after having had just one course of hypnotherapy treatment.

Hypnotherapy is so effective at both finding out the initial reason why you put on weight in the first place, then through suggestion helping you to get back in touch with your body, to actually want to eat healthily and take more exercise, and also to build up your self-esteem and confidence, so that you will be much less likely to binge.  It may be that the weight loss is very slow, but in this way it is much more likely that the weight will stay off, for good.

If you would like to find out more about hypnotherapy for weight loss, do contact me on 01449 780352, or 0781 7158429, or email me on wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.

My apologies for the lack of a blog these past couple of weeks, but (like many others) I have been struck down by a nasty bug which does not seem to want to relinquish its hold.  I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of a cold snap which will kill all those nasty little microbes – it has been far too warm so far this winter I think you’ll agree.

Anyway I hope that you are managing to survive January, whether you are in the throes of dieting, giving up alcohol, starting a new fitness routine or simply just getting through!

My attention has been drawn to the TV chef, Antony Worrall-Thompson, being convicted for shop-lifting.  At first glance, it seems to be quite puzzling in that he is a wealthy man with no actual need to steal goods.  I am also reminded of the fact that the film star, Winona Ryder, was arrested for shoplifting in Beverley Hills some years ago, so why do these apparently well-off celebrities risk their reputations and careers by stealing?

As with certain types of negative, anti-social behaviour, there can usually be found a deep-seated emotional issue which has not been resolved.  It is clear that Worrall-Thompson has had an extremely difficult and abusive past, and felt abandoned as a child.  However, he has said that he has never had therapy and in my opinion, it is only a matter of time until these sorts of issues will manifest themselves in all manner of ways, shoplifting being one of them.  Sometimes it may be felt that the shoplifter has been wronged, and the stealing is one way that they can take back what they had been deprived of in their childhood.   It could also indicate a need to feel ‘in control’, when perhaps other things are going wrong in their life.  Worrall-Thompson has had a stressful time of late, having had to deal with business failure, the death of two friends and giving up smoking.  These types of stresses can have a cumulative effect and taken together, can push people over the edge.  It is almost like a pressure-cooker (excuse the cooking metaphor) but you cannot keep the lid on emotional turmoil forever, eventually something has to give.

Worrall-Thompson has said that he now knows that he needs help, and this is very promising.  I find, in my work as a hypnotherapist, that very often the client exhibits specific symptoms and behaviours, and it is only when we go back (regress) to their childhood and adolescence that the root cause can be found.  By looking at particular events that happened in their youth, re-working them and looking at them from their current adult perspective, the client can then feel lighter, freer and much more optimistic about the future.  It is almost like a ‘de-cluttering’ session for the mind, and it does sometime involve an outpouring of emotion, but until this is performed, the client will tend to repeat the same negative patterns again and again.

If you would like to explore this aspect of hypnotherapy, do please contact me on 01449 780352 or 0781 7158429, or email me on wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.

All the best,
Wendy x

May I wish everyone a really happy and healthy new year!

The start of a new year is often a time that we think about what we would really like to achieve in our lives, it offers the chance of a clean slate, a time when we can put negativity behind us and think about different ways and possibilities that we could improve ourselves in some way.

Although we can start off feeling very confident and positive about these planned-for changes, very often we find that it is nigh on impossible to keep to our original plans as we find ‘real life’ in the form of stresses, time limitations, challenging people etc. get in the way, and so we tend to give up.  And then what happens is that this episode of ‘giving up’ is stored in our mind as another little ‘failure’ to remind us how hopeless we are when it comes to achieving our goals.

Can I suggest a few hints and tips which may help you to achieve what you want to achieve, whether this is a healthy body, good grades in your exams, confidence at work?

1)Keep it simple – when thinking about your goal, make sure that it is realistic and achievable, and be very precise about exactly what you want to achieve.  Don’t be tempted to stop smoking, lose weight and train for a marathon at the same time.

2)Give yourself a realistic time frame in which to achieve your goal.

3)Visualise how you will be when you have achieved it – really see yourself, feel the feeling, hear what people are saying.  The more detailed you can be in this, the better – perhaps you could even have an image or a photo to help keep you on track.

4) Make the time to have at least 10 minutes per day when you can completely relax and switch off, call it self-hypnosis, meditation, whatever you like, it is a brilliant way to de-stress and get rid of what I call the ‘grrrs’ – we all have them.

5) Be good to yourself, have healthy and spirit-lifting rewards to keep you going.

6) Notice how much better you are feeling.

7)THIS ONE IS REALLY IMPORTANT – if you have a day or two in which you ‘fall off the wagon’ this does not matter, there is no such thing as failure.  Just get back on again as soon as you can.

Good luck in whatever you wish for in 2012!

All the best,
Wendy x

I am currently reading a fascinating book called ‘mindfulness and hypnosis’ by Michael Yapko, an American psychologist/hypnotherapist.

Mindfulness is sometimes known as meditation, but tends to be without the spiritual context which is usually referred to with meditation.  It involves being fully present in the moment, in other words focusing solely on what you are doing at that particular time and you can apply it to anything that you do, whether that is eating, driving, reading etc.  In essence it is ‘being’ not ‘doing’ so it involves endeavouring to switch off that part of the brain which over-analyses, cogitates, ruminates and so just allowing yourself and your body to be totally aware of that one thing that you are doing.

This type of technique is very difficult in our technology-driven, 24/7 world, as we often feel that we need to be doing and thinking about lots of different things at once in order to be efficient.  Women in particular are known to have ‘multi-tasking’ abilities, and this is seen as an advantageous, as time can be saved if you complete more than one task at a time.

However, I tend to feel that this way of living and working can lead to us being overburdened and stressed, and whilst a bit of stress is sometimes a good thing, if we are constantly on the go, trying to do several things at once, then our minds and our bodies can sometimes start to tell us that it is all too much, resulting in mental or physical illness.

I encourage all my clients to try to have a little time each day when they can just be still and quiet, not having to think about anything in particular, or do anything at all.  If you make a regular habit of having this peaceful time to yourself then you will really start to notice the benefit, mentally and physically.   If you really do not have time for this then the alternative is to be mindful in the things that you do – when you are eating, for example, completely be aware of all the tastes and sensations in your mouth.  Perhaps when you go for a walk, be conscious of the rhythm of your steps, the air on your face, the feel of your arms moving by your side.

Nowadays we all have a tendency to ‘live in our heads’ and I think that this means that much of what is there to be enjoyed and experienced to the full passes us by.

Consciously developing a mindful attitude will enable your mind to feel clearer, you will feel lighter and freer, and you will tend to feel a much deeper sense of well-being.  Mindfulness is now beginning to be recognised by mainstream medical professionals in the treatment of depression, resulting in many people achieving lasting relief from this debilitating illness.

Hypnosis, as Michael Yapko explains, is very similar to mindfulness in that the individual is going into a state of focused attention, but in hypnosis this tends to be a focus on the hypnotherapist’s words, so in that sense it is like a ‘guided’ mindfulness.  I feel, however, that it can definitely give the same benefits, just by having that period of time when all other distractions are ‘switched off’, so that the mind can be allowed to rest and relax during the process.  In my opinion, in this way, hypnosis can be very powerful in that not only is the mind given chance to rest and recuperate, the suggestions made by the hypnotherapist gently guide the client to achieve their particular goals for treatment.

If you would like to book a free consultation, at which you can discover more about hypnosis and how it can help you, please ring me on 01449 780352 or 0781 7158429, or you can email me on wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.

All the best,
Wendy

The recent tragic death of Gary Speed has been a great shock to all.  It seemed to colleagues and friends, as well as fans, that he had everything going for him – a wonderful supportive family, a great career and was generally well-loved and respected – that his apparent suicide is baffling and inexplicable.

We cannot know what was going through Gary Speed’s mind at the time – sometimes people suffering from depression are so ashamed of their feelings that they become adept at hiding them, and to all intents and purposes ‘appear’ to the outside world as if everything is fine.  We can only guess that Gary’s state of mind was clearly very disturbed at the time of his death and we have no way of knowing the reasons behind this, however it does seem to be that the stigma of clinical depression is still very much in existence, as many people feel ashamed and embarrassed to admit to being depressed.

It is vitally important that a strong message is conveyed to people that clinical depression is an illness (just like arthritis or diabetes) and people suffering from this CAN be treated, and ultimately achieve mental wellbeing. The wonderful Stephen Fry has done much to help in this area, having been very open and honest about his own bipolar disorder, but it still seems that the general consensus is that depression as an illness is poorly understood and even in some cases seen as a weakness in character.

I always urge people who come to me with symptoms of depression to go to their GP in the first instance.  It may be that there is a physical reason for their low mood, and this needs to be explored.  Whilst many people are reluctant to take medication, this can sometimes (along with counselling, cognitive behavioural therapy or hypnotherapy) be extremely useful.  

This is often quite a difficult time of year – some people may be thinking of lost loved ones, many are finding it hard to think of how they are going to finance Christmas, some people feel the sting of loneliness even more than usual.   If you are suffering, I do urge you to seek help, whether this is speaking to a friend or family member, contacting the samaritans or speaking to a medical professional.

My thoughts and prayers go to Gary Speed and his family.

Best wishes,
Wendy

I have to admit to sounding a bit ‘scrooge’ like here, but – now that my boys are many years beyond the age of believing in Father Christmas – I tend not to get so excited about Christmas any more.  It all seems to start earlier and earlier each year, and gets more and more stressful, with adverts showing us perfect Christmas families all eating wonderful food, and unwrapping brilliant presents.

Many of us – particularly women – feel a certain pressure to make sure that everything is organised almost in a military fashion, with endless lists, nothing being left to chance, presents bought and wrapped beautifully, home-made cranberry sauce made etc. etc.  Where does this pressure come from?  To a certain extent it is media-driven, as all the images on TV, in magazines and newspapers can be imprinted onto our subconscious minds, and even if we say to ourselves that we are going to make things easier and simpler this year, there is a little voice in the back of our minds telling us, it is Christmas, so we should be stressed out trying to make sure that everyone else has a good time.   Also, it may be from well-organised friends, who tend to ‘get everything done’ back in September, so we are no doubt starting to panic if December has arrived, and we still have much to do.

I would urge you to make sure that, in the lead up to Christmas, you find time to be still and quiet, perhaps have a five-minute meditation.   This can be done quite easily – just sit or lie down, make sure you are nice and warm, and then focus on your breathing, breathing in through the nose for the count of 3 and out for the count of 6.  It may be that your mind wanders off, but you can just allow it to this, with practice you will be able to bring it gently back.  Perhaps lighting a candle or putting on some nice relaxing music may help.  By doing this regularly, you will find that you feel far less stressed or pressured.

Another thing you can do, is keep things as simple and fuss-free as possible – is the world really going to come to an end if you don’t make a few mince pies, but instead you buy them?   Also try to focus on the really special things at this time of year – if you have little ones, their excitement at seeing Father Christmas is truly wonderful.  Look after yourself – light a nice fire, and toast some crumpets, watch an old film, stay away from shopping centres (most things can be ordered on-line these days).    If you have difficult family members who are visiting, tell yourself that its not for long, and be as nice to them as you can.

Many people are tempted at this time of year to go on quite extreme diets in order to get into the LBD (little black dress) for those Christmas parties.  Whilst adopting a long-term healthy eating plan is a good idea, I would urge people not to diet strictly in the weeks before Christmas.  The reason for this is what tends to happen is that the metabolism will slow down in response to the diet, and then during the holiday time once your guard is let down and the cake, mince pies chocolates etc. that you consume in huge quantities means that the weight (and possibly more) is all put back on again.  Losing a lot of weight very quickly is generally not a good idea, as it messes up the metabolism, and as soon as you start eating ‘normally’ again, the weight piles on very quickly.

I am pleased that a number of high profile women have decided to slim down, such as Jenni Murray, Pauline Quirke, Fern Britton and more recently, Dawn French.  They have all had their different ways of doing this, but it seems to me that Dawn French appears to be achieving her new slim figure in the most sensible way, eating healthier smaller portions, whilst taking more exercise.

The others have resorted to the Dukan diet, Gastric banding and Lighterlife, and whilst these methods do seem to have achieved their goal (although Jenni Murray reports to having put back quite a lot of the weight she lost in a recent 5-week holiday), I am convinced that it is not necessary to take such extreme measures in order to lose weight in a healthy, sustained way.

Very often, the clients who I see for weight loss therapy have emotional issues which they feel unable to deal with, and so this results in a tendency to overeat to comfort themselves.  By taking a good hard look at their life, and finding ways that they can comfort themselves WITHOUT food very often puts them in such a good state of mind, more controlled, calm and confident, that they no longer feel the need to overeat.

I also stress that food can be better enjoyed much more eaten in smaller quantities, savouring the taste and flavour in each mouthful, experimenting with all sorts of different ingredients, herbs and spices.  This, along with a new-found enthusiasm for moving about more (and this does not have to mean joining a gym, but simply walking is as good as anything) can achieve that slimmer, healthier body that you know is in there!

If you feel that you would like to discuss your weight issue with me and find out how hypnotherapy and NLP can help you, please email me on wendy@wendychalk.co.uk, or call on 01449 780352 or 0781 7158429.

I was reading an article recently about the effect a cluttered home can have on your weight.  Unlikely as it might seem, it is claimed that your home can be a reflection of the state of your mind and body.  We often hold onto possessions that we have no more use for, and they are stuffed into the cupboard or drawer, because we just cannot bear to throw them out.

To a certain extent, the same can be said for weight and outdated eating habits.

We hold onto weight for all sorts of reasons – fear of change, loss of identity, a desire to be protected – when actually we would feel so much better if we were to slim down.  Although our conscious mind knows that the latter is true, our sub-conscious protects us by keeping the weight on.  I see many clients who find it difficult to lose weight, and often the problem is that the extra weight and the tendency to eat too much of the wrong foods is often masking a deeper-seated problem which they would actually rather not face.

In a similar way, some people have a tendency to use the clutter around them as a kind of armour against the world, and they actually feel quite uncomfortable about getting rid of things.  This can even be taken to extremes, as in the case of the presenter of ‘A Place in the Sun’ Yasmin Harman’s mum, who was a compulsive horder, and her ‘illness’ meant that Yasmin and her brothers and sisters had to finally step in and help her to gradually get rid of the endless clutter in her house, as there was hardly room to move.

Whether it is too much weight or clutter the person holds onto, it has to be acknowledged that the intention of this type of behaviour is to protect the person concerned.   So, if I am working with somebody who has such an issue I normally try to find out – under hypnosis – the root cause of the negative habit, and then negotiate with the part of the mind that is concerned, in order to suggest more appropriate behaviour which would still give comfort, but not result in a destructive and damaging outcome.  This can yield extremely positive results, as the client does not feel that they are having something taken away, and can still feel protected yet in a different and much more beneficial way.

If you feel that there is ‘stuff’ in your life, whether this be too much weight or too many possessions, that you want to be rid of, yet you are unable to let it go, do contact me to find out how hypnotherapy can help you feel so much lighter, in more ways than one.   I can be contacted on 01449 780352 or 0781 7158429, or you can email me on wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.

Best wishes,
Wendy x

After a couple of indulgent weeks (first week in Italy, and then a few days in Norfolk – plenty of pasta, puddings and pinot grigio) Mr Chalk and I have decided to have a bit of a detox.  Normally I do not favour this type of regime as I feel that any benefit gained from going without all the usual culprits is eradicated as soon as you go back to them again and it is much better to eat and drink fairly healthily all the time.  But actually in this case we have decided to go without alcohol until Christmas.

Yes, that’s right, until Christmas – that’s two months of pre-Christmas parties and socialising, mulled wine and spiced cider on bonfire night, the lovely glass of red to accompany a warming winter stew …..   Are we mad?  Although neither of us are heavy drinkers, when we sat down and thought about it we did realise that we actually drank most nights – even if it was just a glass of wine – and it would be interesting to find out if we could even do it.

In order to make the path easier I have employed a few tricks from the trade – self-hypnosis and NLP techniques in order to trick my mind into thinking that I am not missing out, and actually the benefits will be so well worth it.  For me, the evening glass of wine is very much bound up with the tactile thing of opening the bottle, and holding onto the stem of the wine glass, so another thing that I have done is make sure that I have bought some really nice non-alcoholic alternatives to the wine, like elderflower and cranberry presses or perhaps different fruit juices topped up with fizzy water and put them in one of my lovely crystal wine glasses.  One thing I would suggest, however, if you are thinking about going down the teetotal route, is do not try the non-alcoholic wines – they are mostly quite disgusting!

Only a few days in, and so far, so clear-headed.  I have to say that my skin, eyes and hair are thanking me already – alcohol is known to dehydrate, and this is never a good think for us women of a certain age.  I have also had the best couple of nights sleep that I have had in years, and this seems to have the effect of putting me in a much better mood for the daytime.  Recent studies suggest that the quality and quantity of sleep that we have has a significant effect on our overall health, and there are strong links to lack of good sleep and obesity.  Having regular good quality sleep can also significantly help us to be better able to handle the stress in our lives so this has got to be good.

Maybe you feel that your body is telling you to look after itself a bit better, but you wouldn’t know where to start as you feel it all sounds a bit difficult.  Hypnotherapy and NLP can really help when we want to initiate new healthy habits – call me on 01449 780352 or 0781 7158429, or email me on wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.  I look forward to hearing from you.

Best wishes,
Wendy