The government announced last week that tackling obesity is just a simple question of getting people to eat fewer calories, and exercise more.  Well, I wonder how long it took them to come up with that insightful and inspirational call-to-action.  I do think that most of us know already that this is really all it comes down to, it is just a question of HOW we actually do this.

It is my strong belief that people are eating more now, because most of the food they consume is processed junk – this is generally high in carbs, sugar and fat and leads to energy highs and then massive dips, when (sometimes just an hour or so after a meal) they then crave more of the same sort of stuff.  And so there is a vicious cycle created, where many children and adults are now addicted to junk foods, and are putting their lives at risk by becoming obese.

I have given a lot of thought to what needs to be done to tackle the obesity crisis, and this is my – somewhat condensed – manifesto:

Every child should be taught how to cook – this should be compulsory on the curriculum – good, simple, healthy meals that nourish and sustain.

There should be much more physical activity at school – not just sports, but also fun things – maybe dance, yoga, anything that gets children moving, including those that do not like competitive sports.

Fast foods/ junk foods should be taxed, and the companies that produce them should not be allowed to advertise.  This is a big ask, but it needs to be done.  It is a complete nonsense that MacDonalds is the sponsor for next year’s Olympic Games.

Children and adults with obesity problems should be referred for hypnotherapy and counselling on the NHS – very often there is something going on in somebody’s life which has triggered significant weight gain.  It can be a simple case of addressing these problems which can help somebody to get back on the straight and narrow.

There needs to be a culture shift in the way people eat – we need to take more time over our meals, they should be social occasions where everyone sits down at the table together – this should happen at home and at school.  Food should not be eaten on the run.

For the government to offer platitudes like ‘we should eat fewer calories’ is not at all helpful.   A truly sustainable long-term plan to tackle this epidemic needs to be thought out, otherwise the consequences are very disturbing.

If you have any comments on this or anything else, please contact me on 01449 780352 or 0781 7158429 or email me on wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.

I have spoken before about work-life balance and how difficult it is, particularly in a society where work seems to be bound up with identity, to endeavour to make time for family, friends, hobbies etc.    In my work I tend to meet a lot of people who feel the need to work incredibly long hours, and with the economy being very fragile at the moment, this is even more in evidence, as people feel insecure about their jobs.

Work should, at best, be rewarding, satisfying, provide us with an outlet for creativity and an opportunity to interact with others.   Unfortunately in a lot of cases, work can become so stressful, and people feel the need to work all hours in order to make sure that they are doing the job properly, and to keep the boss satisfied.

There is a fine line between being conscientious and doing the job properly, and actually becoming addicted to work, and this can so very easily happen.  With many people now owning a smartphone, we are forever tied to work as we can be contacted at any time.

There are many reasons for work addiction.  It can be that a person works too hard in order to avoid addressing other areas of his or her life that need to be addressed.   For some, it is hard to say ‘no’ to tasks, and then the person very easily becomes overloaded.   Sometimes it stems from a person’s desire to feel ‘needed’, if maybe this is not happening within their private life.   At the base, there can often be a feeling of low self-esteem, and maybe even a ‘voice’ inside of somebody from our past – perhaps parent or teacher – telling us that we are lazy and no good, and we need to work harder.  There is often a need for perfection and control, perhaps somebody who works too hard feels that they have little control over their personal life, but in the workplace ‘they’ are in charge.

Often people who are in this situation realise that their addiction to work is unhealthy, and yet they are unable to become more balanced.   They find that their health, home life and relationships can suffer, and in this case it is really important to seek help.

Hypnotherapy and NLP can help in this respect by encouraging them to look at their life from a different perspective, in order to gain a better sense of balance.  It can also raise the person’s self esteem and make them feel more confident generally, so they do not then feel the need to prove themselves in the work environment.   It can also make them start to relax, and feel much less ‘strung out’ by work demands.

If you feel that you would like to chat about how hypnotherapy could help you with work/life balance, do contact me on 01449 780352 or 0781 7158429, or email me at wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.

All the best,
Wendy

The World Health Organization recognises the importance of mental health, and to this end is dedicating Monday 10th October 2011 as World Mental Health Day.  

When I was given a kindle earlier this year as a mother’s day gift, I was honestly not quite sure if I would get used to it.   I have loved books all my life, not just the words but also the feel of them and, not being particularly technical, I thought that using an electronic book may not be for me.  I was wrong.  Initially I have to admit that it did feel a bit strange not having that very safe, comforting, feeling of curling up with a book but I have adapted to it now, and I particularly love ‘browsing’ in the kindle shop – it means that my previous hobby of spending hours in bookshops can now be done whilst in bed/curled up on the sofa/on holiday etc.  However, as it is so easy to click on the ‘buy’ button I do have to be aware of the fact that my budget does have certain limits.

The kindle book that I am reading at the moment is ‘Cognitive Hypnotherapy – what is that all about?’ by Trevor Sylvester.   Trevor is a highly respected hypnotherapist who runs the Quest Institute in London, a hypnotherapy training organisation, and he has pioneered many cutting edge techniques, in particular ‘word weaving’, which is a way that the therapist can use the clients own view of the world (their words, their patterns of thinking, their own unique reality) to construct hypnosis scripts that really get to the heart of that particular client’s problem.    Some hypnotherapists tend to use the same scripts on all the clients (a sort of ‘one size fits all’) and whilst this can have a positive effect, it is miles better to make the treatment adapt to the client, rather than the other way around.

Cognitive hypnotherapy is a unique combination of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) which the NHS now  uses widely with its patients, and hypnotherapy.   CBT works by getting you to be aware of your thought patterns and emotions, and how they can sometimes run in a loop, which sometimes then becomes a vicious self-fulfilling cycle.   The therapist shows you that your thoughts are not facts, and you can challenge them – it is almost by standing back and looking at this pattern from a different perspective, you can be aware that it is possible to think and feel differently.

Where I believe CBT falls short is that the therapy still uses the conscious, analytical part of your brain to assess how you feel, and this is only ever going to give limited success.   Much more powerful, I believe, is a combination of CBT and hypnotherapy, where the negative thought patterns can still be assessed, but this time by the sub-conscious mind in hypnosis, and as this part of the mind is much more creative, imaginative an open to suggestion, deep longer-lasting changes can be made.   It is also possible to go back, in hypnosis, to particular events in the clients life, which are still causing significant problems, and the negative effect of these traumatic events can be ‘dissolved’ by hypnotic intervention.

Therapy has to be ‘client centered’ to be effective, and it is my believe that the best therapists around at the moment are using combinations of CBT, hypnotherapy and NLP in their practice in order to make sure that their treatment is tailored to the client.

In my practice, I draw on many different disciplines, as well as hypnotherapy.   No two patients are alike, and we need to be acutely aware of their ‘world’ before even attempting to help them.  By using elements of CBT, NLP, as well as hypnotherapy, I believe that I offer an effective method of achieving long-lasting positive change.

Call me on 01449 780352 or 0781 7158429, or email me at wendy@wendychalk.co.uk,  to find out how I can help you.

Best wishes,
Wendy

I was reading the Sunday paper last weekend, and I came across an article about a father whose daughter had suffered from the most appalling seizures whilst very young.  Her illness had a devastating effect on the whole family, and in order to get through this difficult time and to soothe his daughter, the father regularly told her stories.   This had the effect of calming the little girl down, but also made the father and the rest of the family felt better too.

Stories can really help to divert and distract, and can take us to a different world, but they can also guide us to more positive ways of thinking.  Throughout history, stories have been used in this way, the bible stories being some of the best known.

In my hypnotherapy practice, I regularly use stories and metaphors as the subconscious mind responds really well to this type of suggestion.  Whilst positive direct suggestion used in hypnosis (this would be the type of phrase such as ‘you will only crave nutritious, healthy foods’) is often very powerful, it is sometimes a bit too authoritarian for some, and so the subconscious mind can have a tendency to rebel against it.   Much more subtle is the story or metaphor which leads the client into what is technically known as a trans-derivational search, whereby the client can apply the message within, to his or her own situation.   I have seen quite remarkable results by using metaphors and stories, particularly with those clients who respond less well to direct suggestion.

One favourite story which I sometimes use for my clients is the following.  It can make them have faith in something which they cannot see, and which is seemingly impossible.  All sorts of magical things can occur, without us being able to understand the full process behind it, we just need to believe in them.

It seems unlikely, but stories really do have the power to heal.  If you wish to find out how they can help to inspire change in YOUR life, then contact me on 01449 78044 or 0781 7158429, or email me on wendy@wendychalk.co.uk

Have a good week,
Wendy.

In 2004, a team from Soroka University in Israel found, in a study of 185 women given IVF treatment, 28% of the women in the group who were hypnotised, became pregnant, compared with 14% of those who were not.  The findings of this study was presented to the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology conference in Berlin that year.

The Israeli researchers were looking to see if hypnosis could make the embryo transfer stage of IVF more successful.  Their belief was that if the womb contracts during this stage, it can affect the chances of the transplant being a success.

Whilst there have been few studies to prove that hypnotherapy can improve the success rates of women going through IVF treatment, there can be no doubt that any treatment which helps reduce the massive stress levels encountered by couples going down this route is a positive thing.

Unless you have endured the pain of sub-fertility (I prefer to call it this, rather than infertility or even worse childlessness) you can have no idea of what these couples go  through.  The stress comes from all quarters, not just the sheer physical toll that IVF treatment can take on you.   The emotional factors are even more traumatic.  The main one is the feeling that you may never have a child of your own, and this can be described as a type of grieving, but in some ways far worse, as you can never move on.   Often, well-meaning people (usually those with children, conceived easily and naturally) will urge you to ‘accept the fact that you cannot have children’ and just move on with your life.   Having experienced sub-fertility and then IVF treatment myself, I can honestly say that this type of advice made me quite angry.  How dare these people presume to give you advice on something that they have no idea about? I was always very sure that it was my destiny to have a child, I just could not imagine my life without children and I very much feel that it was this belief that eventually led to us being blessed with our two wonderful boys.

And yet it is very hard to nurture a belief, that despite the odds being against you, you will one day hold that baby in your arms.  The medical profession often just relies on hard, cold facts, purely the physiological, and not the emotional or psychological factors that play a part.   And this is so important.   I am forever indebted to Robert Edwards and Patrick Steptoe, who pioneered IVF treatment – they were medical men, Edwards a Scientist and Steptoe a medical doctor – and, as a result of their wonderful work, Louise Brown, the first IVF baby was born, followed by many thousands of others.   Robert Edwards subsequently received a nobel prize in 2004 for his pioneering work, and not before time.

I strongly believe that, in addition to having the best medical treatment that you can afford, it is important to make sure that your state of mind is as relaxed as it can be, and this is where hypnotherapy along with other complementary therapy treatments such as acupuncture and reflexology, can help.  Medical professionals now accept that the mind-body connection is very important in achieving a good, healthy outcome for all sorts of interventions.

Hypnotherapy can be very powerful in removing subconscious blocks to having a baby (it may be that years ago you had an abortion, and perhaps you feel that this means you do not deserve another chance at parenthood or maybe you were abused as a child, and subconsciously this is stopping you from becoming pregnant).   I feel that, in working with couples in this situation, it is very important to work on removing any negativity, prior to then installing relaxation techniques, as well as creating very strong and detailed visualisations.   I then also prepare a CD for use during treatment, as I recognise that this time (particularly implantation, and then the 2 weeks following this) is most stressful.

If you would like to have a chat about how hypnotherapy can help you, please do not hesitate to contact me on 01449 780352, or 0781 7158429, or email me at wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.

I look forward to hearing from you,

Wendy x

Much has been said, post-riots, about the possible reasons for ‘breakdown’ Britain.  Until now, I have not wanted to add my comments, but a vicious unprovoked attack against a loved one, has left me reeling and actually quite angry, so I am trying to make sense of how we have got to this state of affairs where it does seem that there is a strata in society which has a complete lack of decency, consideration for others, or a sense of responsibility for their actions.  Having said this, I am aware that this only makes up a certain portion of society and it is also true that there are many good, kind people out there coming from all different backgrounds.

Although I do think that the government were right to act quickly and firmly in handing out harsh punishments after the recent riots, there is also the need to think what can be done at the ‘root’ level which will allow society to recover a sense of moral responsibility.

This is a complex issue, but I think that it starts with the family.  My belief is, and I am not really sure how this could be put into practice, that families who are seen to do their best to provide a firm, secure and loving base for their children should be rewarded in some way.  By the same token, and this will be very controversial, but it has to start somewhere, a system has to be put in place whereby people who are in work (whatever kind of work that is) are always going to better off, than if they were to be on benefits.

Many people tend to attack single parents, but I believe that this is not helpful.  There are many single-parent families who, I know, provide loving stable families.   However, as a country, we have one of the highest rates of teenage pregnancies, and personally, I do not think that there are many teenagers who are emotionally mature enough to provide good, stable parenting.   So, there has to be very strong deterrent for young girls to get pregnant.    This would involve encouraging them to work towards a career, and giving a very strong message that by having a baby, this would severely hamper their career or job progress.   Also, I feel that it would be a really good idea to provide teenage mums with a place in a hostel with other mums, not their own flat or house.   This may have the effect of putting some teenagers off the whole idea of having children.

It does seem that there is a lack of strong male role models, both at home and in early-years schooling.  I was reading the other day that only one in four primary schools in the UK employ at least one male teacher, and so this would mean that a child of a single mum who is attending primary school is, in all likelihood, without a signicant male role model in his life.  Who does he then have to emulate?    Footballers?   Pop stars?  Not a great deal of moral fibre there.

I know that there is never going to be a return to the ‘traditional’ family, 2.2 children, mum at home cooking dinner, and dad out at work and I really wouldn’t want this, BUT unless we address this issue soon and make sure that children have stability and discipline in their young lives, then things will only deteriorate further.

I do realise that this blog is coming over very ‘Daily Mail’ ish, so apologies for that, but sometimes its good to rant.

On another tack, I realised the other day that, although I encourage most of my clients to set aside a half hour each day for self-hypnosis.   I havn’t been doing this myself and thought that it would be particularly beneficial after the recent upset, so I have decided to get back into the habit of practising this each day.   I know that it reaps benefits, in allowing all the stresses and anxieties to ‘mulch’ down, so enabling a new sense of peace and calm.   You can also address specific issues, but writing down a clear, simple affirmation beforehand and repeating it to yourself several times, just before the self-hypnosis.  Until you try this, you really have no idea of how good it makes you feel, particularly if you keep the habit going longer term.  

I would welcome any of your comments to my blog, but in the meantime, all the best,

Wendy x

Its my birthday today, and whilst I am still hanging onto the last little bit of my forties, I find that I start to reflect on the last decade, and what has happened in my life, as well as what I am hoping for over the next few years.

For several years now, we have not tended to print photos out, so like many people, they are all ‘trapped’ on discs and PCs.    So yesterday, we decided to have a good trawl through of all our photos from the last few years, and it was amazing to see all the places that we have been to, and the family and friends, and how they have altered over the years.  I was surprised to find out that there were many events and trips that I had completely forgotten about.

Sometimes we tend to go through life in a sort of fog, not really taking note of what is happening around us, so that those really special times are just rolled into the hubbub of the rest of our lives, and not lived to the full.

I am so incredibly lucky that I have reached a stage in my life where I feel settled in both family and career, and although I have the usual worries of people in mid-life (teenage children, university fees, elderly parents with health problems) I am grateful to have good health myself, be surrounded by a wonderful friends and family, and to live in a really nice part of the country.  

Above all, what I find particularly satisfying is to be able to have a job where I am able to change peoples lives (that sounds a bit boastful, doesn’t it?).   Very often my clients come to me in the depths of despair, as they feel completely helpless to get themselves out of their situation.    Through hypnotherapy and NLP, we can start to find a pathway out of this negativity, which leads them to a solution.   As this is a solution which THEIR subconscious mind has found, this tends to be much more healthy and sustainable in the longer term.  There are not many jobs where your clients ask if they can give you a hug, because they feel so much better.

So, on this my birthday, I am going to make a little wish to be able to carry on helping lots more people with hypnotherapy, in addition to making the most of all the special moments in my life which all too often pass by without me taking notice of them.

Wendy
x  

When my son rang me to tell me that he had passed his driving test, I tried not to be too surprised.   In truth, and this sounds really negative, I did not expect him to pass first time.   Very few of his friends had passed first time, and from what I hear about the driving test now, it is significantly harder than it was ‘in my day’.   We did not have a written exam, and the actual practical test was only about 15 to 20 minutes long, with a couple of questions at the end.

I really do not believe that we are ‘good’ or ‘bad’ drivers.   It is rather our ability to learn, and then apply this practically which is key, being able to maintain that state of focus and concentration, so that we are constantly aware of potential hazards.  The difficulty then comes (and this has happened with several of my sons’ friends) that in an exam, people can often be so overcome with nerves, that to achieve this state of focus, whilst at the same time being fairly relaxed becomes impossible.  If the result of the driving exam is then a failure, the memory of this can be sometimes ‘locked-in’ to the student’s head, and cause even more nerves at the next attempt.

Hypnotherapy is excellent in this case, in eliminating those exam nerves and enabling you to get into that state of what I call ‘relaxed alertness’, feeling in control, calm and steady.  It is also possible to mentally ‘scramble’ past failed attempts, so that they no longer have a negative effect on your ability to remain calm.

 It is also really helpful for people who have actually been driving for a number of years, but are very nervous drivers, perhaps due to an accident.

Sometimes, all that is needed is a couple of sessions to boost confidence, and to learn to deal with nerves or any past negative experiences, and you actually feel so much better.

Living in the countryside as I do, driving is an essential skill for many of us, and if we can make it a pleasurable and safe experience, this is all the better.

If you would like to have a chat to me about this, or any other issue, please get in touch on 01449 780352, or 0781 7158429, or email me on wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.

Last week Mr Chalk and myself were sunning ourselves on the marvellous Normandy coast, near to Arromanches.   A wonderful time we had too, the first time away without the children, so we were able to do as we pleased, and not spend our time hunting down theme-park/sporting/generally expensive activities which could keep our teenagers amused.

Simply enjoying the wonderful food, scenery, going for loads of walks and reading was enough to keep us very happy indeed, and we have both returned feeling refreshed and relaxed.

The French seem to do many things really well, and this includes food – those wonderful displays of cakes, biscuits and chocolates in their patissiers really are quite wonderful to behold, and Mr Chalk and I could regularly be found dribbling at shop windows in awe.   Presentation seems to be something that they pride themselves on, as well as taste.   Markets show colourful, and spectacularly displayed arrays of fruit and vegetables, and restaurants and cafes pride themselves on the way they serve their food, from a magnificent tray of seafood, to a little cafe creme, served in a dainty cup.

This makes it all the more strange that, in other areas, they do not appear to be bothered at all.   At the risk of sounding like a grumpy old woman, I was dismayed at the amount of dog poo on pavements and along the beach promenade.  It was a resort where there were a lot of families on holiday, and so really this was inexcusable.  There was even a bag dispenser on the beach front, which dog owners could use, if they had forgotten their own, but sadly this was not being used.  

Public conveniences on some beaches, too, were really quite disgusting, involving the dreaded footplate (never a good way to keep toilets clean and hygienic) and the smell was enough to put you off your croissant.

This attention to detail and pride for some areas of life, in contrast to a seeming disregard for other areas, is quite strange.   It is as if there is almost a ‘blindness’ or a selective filtering of information which is important, and that which is not important.   Every country probably has their different cultural idiosyncracies, and sometimes these can seem conflicting to the outsider.  But actually to the natives, this is the way they live, and they themselves do not find anything strange about it.

In the same way that a country can have its strange quirks, as individuals we can also possess characteristics that, to another person, would appear strange and contradictory.   But, we are all unique individuals, and we have all faced a whole range of life experiences, lived with different stresses and had to cope with differing family circumstances.

What is important is that through our experiences, our subconscious minds always work for our benefit, protecting and looking after us, even if this means that the resulting behaviour is unpalatable.   So, for example, a person who comfort-eats may have began doing this in order to make themselves feel better about a situation.  Similarly a person who is anorexic, limits their food in order to have some control in a world which to them, feels very out of control.

In order to address these sort of negative behaviour patterns, it is necessary to re-direct the subconscious mind to find better, more appropriate ways of feeling good, other than resorting to destructive and life-limiting habits.  Hypnotherapy does this brilliantly, by gently guiding the subconscious mind to make its own search for positive and life-enhancing ways that the individual can feel good about themselves again.

If you would like to have a chat with me to find out how hypnotherapy could help you, please do not hesitate to contact me on 01449 780352, or 0871 7158429, or email me on wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.

And no, of course the poo problem has not put us off France …..