For some odd reason, my last blog was cut short, so here is the rest of it:

We cannot begin to know the extent of the grief suffered by the Norwegian people at the present moment, but what is really inspiring is the way that they come together, and support each other.   Their spirit can be symbolised by the attitude of the Norwegian PM, who has argued that we need to respond to such terrorist acts with more democracy, whereas our PM, David Cameron has stated that we need to be more ever more vigilant against this type of atrocity.  To me, these different attitudes represent on the one hand a need to insist even more on a fair, free and diverse society and on the other hand a society which encourages suspicion and fear.

The Norwegian court was absolutely right to deny Anders Behring Breivik the chance to present his ‘manifesto’.    This man’s acts do not represent political or religious viewpoints, they are simply representative of a form of psychosis, an extremism which has led him to commit these atrocities.   In fact there is an anonymous campaign underway on the internet to sabotage his manifesto, by getting people to ‘spoil’ it in all sorts of ways and send it on to others to do the same.  Personally I think that it should be completely ignored and discarded.  

By far the best way to help at present is to send our support and love to the Norwegian people in any way that we can.   They have an idomitable spirit and fortitude which will help them to endure, but to know that they have the global community on their side will hopefully give them strength to get through this difficult time.

Wendy x

It felt very strange to wave off my son, driving my car, on his own, last Thursday.  I know it may sound like a cliche, but it only seems five minutes since he was driving a little orange cozy coupe around the yard.  Time seems to fly by so quickly, and, as the events of the weekend have all too brutally reminded us, life is transitory and fragile.  

It is a sad fact that many of my clients report to having been bullied at some point in their lives, and whilst it is often true that bullying tends to occur mainly during childhood years in the playground, adults can suffer from being bullied too.

Listening to the comedian, Michael McIntyre on ‘Desert Island Discs’ the other day, I was astonished to find out that he has been the target of much hostility from other more ‘edgy’ comedians.   There seems to be something about his wholesome, family friendly act that they appear to dislike intensely, in fact one comedian, Stewart Lee described him as ‘spoon-feeding his audience warm diarrhoea’.   In fact at the British Comedy Awards earlier this year, McIntyre suffered relentless barracking from fellow comedians and he and his wife were shocked and distress at the extent of the nastiness of some of these comments.

To me, it is quite clear that their hostility is due to their own insecurity and relative lack of success and this is something that I explain to many of my clients that I see who have been bullied.   Very often the bullies can see something very special, different and talented that they themselves do not possess, and never will.   However, this sort of information, whilst comforting, may not be enough to make the person on the receiving end a whole lot better.  

Hypnotherapy and NLP can really be of help in this regard, by using techniques and suggestions which go directly to the sub-conscious mind to make the client feel confident, protected and strong – if you like, developing a really thick skin (or even shell in some cases!) which means that anything negative just bounces off, and no longer has the power to cause harm or distress.    These sorts of techniques can be particularly useful to children and what I often find is, that with this new-found confidence and resilience, the bullies soon tire of their stupid cowardly ways, as they no longer receive a response.

If your child (or maybe even yourself) is being bullied, do contact me in confidence to find out how I can help . My number is 01449 780352 or 0781 7158429, or wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.

Its getting near to holiday time now, and many of you will be jetting off to all sorts of interesting places.    Or maybe, if you are one of the many people who have a fear of flying, you will be going somewhere closer to home or perhaps have planned a long coach/train/boat journey to get you to your destination.

Probably as a result of all the great holidays my dad planned for us when we were little, I (along with my brother) have inherited a love of travelling.  These were only to the Isle of Wight or to Devon or some other place within the UK, but the memories of these trips have stayed with me, including the excitement I felt prior to the actual holiday itself.

I really do love everything about holidays, from the planning, the packing, the actual travel itself and of course once you get there and experience different sights, people, landscapes, even smells.   It does broaden the mind and makes you feel that there is a huge world out there, and your little corner is just a very minuscule part of it.   Since adulthood, I have travelled reasonably extensively to some wonderful destinations, including  Canada, the USA, Cuba, Thailand, Sri Lanka and to many countries within Europe, too.   I am so thankful that I have been able to do this, and Mr Chalk and I are looking forward to many years to come when we can visit those places that we still want to see.

I realise for some people that, because of a fear of flying, they are limited to the places they can travel to.   This may be OK if they are happy to not go very far afield, but for some, there is a sense of frustration that they will never be able to see those exotic places which they have always wanted to visit.  In addition, they can feel that they are letting down a partner or loved one by not being able to travel by plane.

In my experience, hypnotherapy is one of the best ways to conquer a fear of flying, and it often needs only a couple of sessions to make a real difference.  Very often the fear is related to a bad flight experienced in the past, and through an NLP technique called ‘fast phobia’ this memory is very quickly scrambled, so that it loses its control over you.    In addition, relaxation or breathing exercises can be taught which will help with any remaining pre-flight nerves.   I have witnessed quite astounding results, and my clients typically tell me that, from being paralysed by even the thought of air travel, they were able to actually enjoy the flight, after hypnosis treatment.

If you would like to try hypnotherapy for a fear of flying, or indeed, if there is any other phobia that you are keen to see the back of, do please give me a call on 01449 780352  or 0781 715 8429, or alternatively email me on wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.

Happy holidays,

Wendy
x

I have recently been going round to various open days with my son, who is intending to go to music college in 2012.  This scares me in a number of ways, not least the fact that we will be considerably poorer, but also the idea of imagining my son on his own and looking after himself for the first time.   We have always taught him to be fairly independent, and I’m sure he would be able to cook basic meals, but occasionally things happen that remind you that he is ‘not quite’ an adult yet.

He is going off to Latitude next week, and during a chat the other day, he asked if it would be alright if he left his money in his tent.  There then ensued a lecture from my husband about how no-one can be trusted in this crime-ridden age, and so should purchase a specially fortified ‘money-belt’ to keep all his valuables in.   Searching the ‘festival’ website, but it was deemed that none were ‘cool’ enough for him to have about his person at Latitude, so other options such as keeping it in his sock, in his mobile phone wallet or just in his pocket were discussed but summarily dismissed.

We eventually found a solution, but it was interesting for me to realise just how trusting my son is, and how, when he goes away, he is (by necessity) going to change and become much more streetwise.  Whichever college he goes to, it is likely to be in a major city (London, Birmingham or Manchester) and I am sure, coming from a tiny Suffolk village that this will be a culture shock.  However, even from a young age, he always seems to have felt quite at home in big cities, and he does generally like the vibe.  So, from this point of view, I’m sure he will be absolutely fine.

I don’t sound convincing, do I?

The next year will go really quickly, and then before we know it he will be packing up all his worldly goods and fleeing the nest, so I have resolved in the meantime to enjoy his company while he is still here – this would include his music – piano, flute and saxophone – that we take for granted at the moment, but which floats downstairs to our kitchen, giving it the feel of a jazz club.   But also his cheery personality, his funny ‘food quirks’ (a liking for fondant icing, and paxo stuffing – not together, I hasten to add) and his wicked sense of humour.

But I know that eventually I will have to let him make his own way and that this will be hard.   As a mum, we spend so many years looking out for our offspring, and so when kids do eventually gain their independence, it is often hard to adjust.

I think that it is important that we look at this stage as a new stage in ‘our’ lives too, a time when we can learn new things, perhaps start a new job or hobby, meet new people.  

But, of course, still being there for them when they come back ……

All the best,
Wendy x

Some of you may be aware of the ‘gastric hypnoband’ – a technique used by many hypnotherapists for weight loss, where the individual wants to lose a substantial amount of weight, and has a BMI in excess of 30.   This works by literally convincing the subject that they have had a real gastric band fitted, and so they are only able to eat tiny amounts of food.  For those people who are clinically or morbidly obese, this represents a healthy, safe way to lose a large amount of weight, without resorting to actual surgery, which at best causes extreme discomfort, and at worst can even be fatal.  It is also important to stress that during the hypnotherapy, the client is also helped to confront the psychological and emotional reasons for his overeating, which is not the case with actual bariatric surgery.

I have had many requests for this type of treatment, and up until now, this is not something I have offered.   One of the reasons for my hesitation to offer this type of treatment was that it seemed to be somewhat of a gimmick, and possibly capitalising on the popularity and more widespread acceptance of actual gastric banding surgery.   However, having spoken to a number of colleagues who are using this method to extremely good effect, I have now decided to offer gastric hypnobanding, and I will shortly be taking a course, which will qualify me to offer this treatment.  

What has made me change my mind?

The cynical amongst you would say that I am now ‘jumping on the band wagon.’    I would reply that yes, I do have to make a living, and if most other hypnotherapists are now offering this treatment, then I have to be able to compete with them.   However, it is not only this factor which has made me decide to go in this direction.   The obesity crisis is a disturbing fact, and all around us we see people struggling with their weight, trying new diets, going to slimming clubs, taking diet pills, but this does not seem to be having any effect – in fact it only seems to be making things worse.   Therefore if I can help somebody to shed weight in a healthy way, at the same time helping them to cope with the anxiety and the emotion that has made them big in the first place, then I feel that this is a worthy cause.   Sometimes extreme health issues call for ‘extreme’ treatments and so to me, the gastric hypnoband option offers a much more healthy and natural alternative to painful and sometimes life-threatening surgery.

If you would like to chat to me about weight loss treatment, I would be pleased to see you for a free consultation – please call me on 01449 780352 or 0781 7158429, or email me on wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.  I look forward to speaking to you soon!

When a client comes to see me, I generally recommend a course of treatment lasting between 3 and 6 sessions, as I am of the opinion that therapy does not need to be lengthy to be effective.   I do, however, have several clients that I see on a monthly basis, who feel that these regular hypnotherapy sessions are great for relaxation and general well-being.

It was interesting to read, therefore, that the comedian Jack Dee has admitted to having regular monthly hypnotherapy sessions, and he likens them to a ‘re-set’ button on a computer, just having that time when you ‘un-plug’ and then power everything up again.   He claims that these sessions have kept him free from depression and compares them to a sort of ‘mental massage’ which enable his brain to function healthily and his mood to be kept stable.  

I really like this idea of the ‘mental massage’ – in an age when life is increasingly busy and complex and confusing, it is hugely beneficial to smooth out all those neurons and synapses, and enable them to have some ‘down time’ in order to get back to functioning at full speed again.   In 2009 a study carried out at Hull University found that there were actual physical changes on brain scans carried out on hypnosis subjects, to the effect that the brain was ‘primed’ to absorb positive imagery and suggestion, or maybe to block pain, depending on the effect required.

All I can say is that many of my clients – even those who find it difficult to relax – really enjoy the hypnotherapy sessions, and tell me that they feel much more calm, relaxed and able to cope with stresses afterwards.

If you feel that you could do with a ‘monthly mental massage’ do contact me on 01449 780352 or 0871 7158429, or email me on wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.  I look forward to hearing from you!

Have you noticed how you often build things up to be much worse than they actually turn out to be?    I am guilty of this too, as last week I had to have dental treatment on a tooth that already had a very deep root filling in it already, so was already much more filling than tooth.  During the days leading up to the treatment, I was having all sorts of depressing thoughts, most of which involved me having to have the tooth taken out.  I am not actually frightened of the dentist, and don’t mind going at all as our dentist is lovely, however I was really fearful of losing this tooth, and of the affect that this would have on my appearance and my confidence.

When it came to the actual day of treatment, I needn’t have worried at all, as my clever dentist managed to remove the bit of tooth, and did a lovely job of filling it, so I was very relieved to come away with my smile intact, even though I was £100 poorer.   I felt so happy when I left – mind you, this might have been the anaesthetic, that I did a little skip when I came out – so, if anyone saw me in Stowmarket, they must have thought look at that bonkers woman with the lop-sided jaw, jumping into the air!  

I have spoken before about celebrating little daily victories, and this is just the sort of thing that I mean.  Those times when something turns out really well, or somebody we meet inspiring us, or even just a beautiful sky.   The more that we can tune our own personal filter into noticing these types of situations, and more importantly being thankful for them, the more they tend to happen.  Try it!

If you feel that you are finding it difficult to feel optimistic at the moment, hypnotherapy may help to lift your mood.  Contact me on 01449 780352, or 0781 7158429, or email me on wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.

I am delighted that the Royal Society of Medicine (RSM) has recently endorsed the practice of hypnosis in being able to reduce stress and pain.  Jacky Owens, the president of the RSM’s Hypnosis Section, said “Conditions such as depression, pain and irritable bowel syndrome affect millions of people in the UK and at great cost to the NHS.  But hypnosis can often work where other treatments have been unsuccessful”.    It is really pleasing that the mainstream seems to be waking up to the benefits of hypnosis, and not dismissing the therapy as mystical hocus-pocus, as may have been done in the past.

The RSM suggests that medical professionals should be offered training in hypnosis, in order to be able to use it as ‘another tool in their treatment programme’.  This is an excellent idea, however I am not sure that, in practice ‘bite-size’ hypnosis would really work.   At present GPs are allotted 10 minutes per patient, and this would certainly not give enough time for a proper consultation, as well as conducting the hypnosis session.   In my training and subsequently through experience, I have found that the longer one  takes to induce a hypnotic trance, the more effective the subsequent suggestion therapy seems to be.  Hypnotherapy’s strength is in the way it allows the client time and stillness, in order to combat stresses and anxieties, which in my experience seem to be at the root of most presenting issues.

Ms Owens of the RSM warns that vulnerable people need to be protected from rogue practitioners, and this is absolutely true.   I always advise people to check the qualifications and accreditation of their hypnotherapist, as there are a significant number who are not registered, and should not be practising at all.

However, we are not all rogues, and in the absence of medically-trained hypnotherapists, I believe that it is perfectly acceptable to seek treatment from a hypnotherapist who is properly trained and accredited to one of the main hypnotherapy associations.  I am a member of the NCH (National Council for Hypnotherapy) and the GHR (General Hypnotherapy Register) – these are the two main hypnotherapy bodies in the UK, and they require you to have completed a Hypnotherapy Practitioner Diploma, in order to become a member.  This entails practical training and assessment with an accredited training school, in my case this took place over 10 weekends.  In addition to this I am a BA (Hons) graduate, and I am also constantly adding to my knowledge with CPD (continual professional development).

Therefore, whilst it is encouraging that the RSM are advocating the use of hypnotherapy, I also think that it is important that they accept that there a number of well-qualified, professional hypnotherapists in the field that they could feel confident in referring their patients to. 

I would welcome comments to this blog – send me an email wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.

The other night Mr Chalk and I settled down to watch ‘Bums, boobs and botox’, a new documentary on Channel 4, a fly-on-the-wall show about the work of the cosmetic surgery performed by ‘Transform’.  

What amazed me was how this type of work is sold and promoted – on the one hand you saw a group of ladies sat round with nibbles and wine, watching a procedure being carried out, with all the gore and blood on show.   Can you believe, however, that they took £21,000 that night?   What happened to good old Avon or Body Shop parties?    You then saw a shot of their ‘call-centre’ staff trying to persuade people to come along and have a consultation in order to find out what work needed doing.   Presumably these sales staff are all medically trained?……

There are evidently some people who have such disfigurement, that it is ruining their lives, and surgery is the best option.   However, with most of these people, they looked perfectly OK beforehand, and one cannot help wondering how much the clinic preys on their insecurities, and makes healthy profits from them.   The media and the press quite evidently do not help, with their images of ‘perfection’ – teenagers are all too aware of this, and many neuroses develop in adolescence because of bullying from others, but also their perception of what constitutes a perfect body, and how image is so important.

What saddens me, is that with many of these people, they feel that their lives will only start once they have a certain procedure, but they then become addicted and they cannot stop having surgery.   Obviously clinics such as ‘Transform’ are run on a profit-making basis, and the moral issues here are quite neatly brushed under the carpet.

I felt really sorry for the chap who had a hair transplant, and after nearly 2 months of what appeared to me a really painful, lengthy procedure, it just looked like a very sparse few rows of grass seed, not likely to become the luscious locks that he had dreamt of (and taken out a £5,000 loan to pay for).

I wonder if you have been thinking of having cosmetic surgery, but feel deep down that there is another way?   Hypnotherapy and NLP can really boost confidence to such an extent that we become much less ‘body-conscious’, but able to see things from a different perspective.   People often find that its not really all about image, but by feeling great from the inside, this can actually have an effect on the way we look too. 

If you need a ‘natural’ boost, please call on 01449 780352 or 0781 7158429, or email me on wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.  

Take care.