Oh dear! I should perhaps have issued a health warning with my previous blog, as I had described my love of a Sunday roast and that does include quite crispy roast potatoes.

It now seems that the powers that be are advising us to stay away from the crispy roasties and also the well-browned toast, as the resultant chemical produced is carcinogenic. They do add that you would need to be eating a fair amount of said roasties and toast to be at risk, but they obviously felt a need to inform the public of this potential cancer-forming chemical.

It does frustrate me a little when these types of warnings are made. It would be so much more helpful to give people common-sense help and support to live a healthy, moderate lifestyle – simple stuff like cutting out processed food, eating more veg, doing a bit of exercise each day. And the real warnings should be made about excessive amounts of alcohol, extreme diets like LighterLife and the Cambridge diet which often lead to an unhealthy relationship with food, as well as suggesting ways to deal better with stress.

But who am I to say? Knowingly feeding my family with deadly spuds. Shameful.

Wendy x

I wonder how your year is going? January is often a difficult month, with (quite literally) tightened belts, gloomy weather and still short days.

I am a strange creature in that I actually quite like this time of year. For me it can be a time of reflection and stillness after the chaos of Christmas. I love the Danish concept of ‘hygge’ which sort of means a cosy winter hug, so think of log fires, hot chocolate, curling up with a hot water bottle and a good book.

I have also been enjoying cooking some winter warmer meals, stew and dumplings, fruit crumble and custard and last Sunday roast beef with – to my son Joe’s delight – proper homemade batter puddings. Simple things are often those that give us the most pleasure, much more than any expensive purchase. That’s what I find, anyway.

Apparently a study has been done on human happiness and it found that when a person’s income rises above a level which is considered comfortable, then there is no further increase in contentment. So, there seems to be a limit on happiness, and if wealth increases exponentially, then it can have the reverse effect of making a person feel unsatisfied and discontented.

That’s good to know.

Keep warm folks,
Wendy x

As 2017 arrives, Mr Chalk and I will be bloated and happy, having worked our way through an 8 course New Year’s menu at a favourite restaurant nearby, the Great House in Lavenham.

We do love our food, and I have come to realise that this is an important thing in our lives, the simple joy which comes from sharing a delicious meal with friends and loved ones.

The difficulty comes when you realise that, after an indulgent couple of weeks of Christmas fare, you have put on a kilo (or three) and then that extra weight seems to hang around well into the New Year, and beyond!

I am forever searching for ways to have my cake and eat it, as – whilst I love my food, I don’t like the feeling of clothes feeling tight. I have reached the conclusion that it IS possible but there does have to be some discipline involved.
It is all about balance, and also doing what works for you as an individual.

I have found that – since having hypnotherapy for weight loss some 20 years ago – my relationship with food is so much healthier. I used to diet, and then end up bingeing on rubbish, and never seemed to enjoy my food at all.

Hypnotherapy seems to have sorted all that out, and now I can enjoy a wonderful, easy relationship with food, not denying myself of anything, but being careful to eat a mostly healthy diet and also being mindful of portion sizes.

Sometimes, when I have over-indulged I will perhaps fast for a day or two, and this makes me feel better. I have also been experimenting with 16 hour fasts, and this involves just eating in an 8 hour time period, for example between 12 noon and 8pm. I find it quite liberating to do this, and it seems to give me a bit more energy.

If you are searching for a way that you can finally get to a healthy weight, and feel balanced and calm around food, do consider giving hypnotherapy a go. It really does work.

Have a wonderful New Year.

Wendy x

Some people don’t like that strange period between Christmas and New Year, but I love it. In fact it’s this bit of the Christmas holiday I look forward to the most, when Mr C and me can spend some time together, relaxing and vegging out after the frenetic activity of the pre-Christmas week.

We don’t tend to do anything special, just go on nice long walks either by the coast, or perhaps somewhere a bit nearer and come back to light a fire and eat some of the huge quantity of food we still have in the house. We have been trying not to watch TV too much, and this has actually been lovely.

After a challenging time in 2016, I start to think about 2017 and what I wish for myself and my family. I am not making any resolutions this year but I have decided to pursue my interest in writing, so I shall think about how I can make more time for this activity. I also begin to wonder about the new clients I shall meet, and how I am so lucky to have the privilege of meeting so many wonderful, inspiring people who are having to deal with the most difficult of challenges. I am also looking forward to using the new therapy tool I have trained in, EMDR (eye movement desensitization and re-processing) which is particularly good for dealing with trauma and PTSD.

Hypnosis will always be at the heart of my practice and I am consistently amazed by how transformative it can be. I am also heartened by the fact that it seems to be gaining more recognition from the medical profession. NHS mental health treatment, particularly in this region, is generally quite poor, so there is a need for the commissioners to consider a wide range of therapies.

I do hope you have all had a lovely Christmas and would like to send everyone my best wishes for a healthy, peaceful and happy 2017.

Wendy x

My wonderful dad passed away last week. The last few weeks of his life he seemed to almost be fading away as – and this is often what happens in the end stage of dementia – he was unable to swallow food without choking. Never a big man in the first place, he appeared so very tiny when I last saw him. The staff on his ward looked after him beautifully, with so much care and dedication and this was a great comfort to us. I would go in and see him most days and would sing and chat to him, and even though there was very little response, I would like to think that he heard some of it.

Initially I felt a huge sense of relief when we knew that he was finally at peace, and then comes the guilt at feeling this way. Grief does not have a set formula, so I am taking each day as it comes, but above all being gentle on myself and others. I feel a need for rest and calm after a difficult time.

I hope that as time goes on I will remember more and more the essence of my dad. He was such a special person in that, although he had experienced an incredibly difficult childhood – at one point he was in Eye workhouse, and was in numerous children’s homes – he had so much love and generosity of spirit. He had no template of a family life to draw on yet he instinctively knew how to love and support his family. There was not an ounce of bitterness, anger or malice in him. He had tremendous warmth and most people who met him will remember this, along with the ‘bear hugs’ he gave folk.

He always felt that he had been so fortunate in his life and was determined to do as much for others as he could, supporting numerous charities, working for the Red Cross when he retired and just generally helping others.

He was such a lovely dad and I shall miss him so much.

Wendy x

It is a difficult and stressful time for our family at present as my lovely, gentle dad is very poorly, suffering from the symptoms of end-stage dementia. Unfortunately we are having difficulty finding somewhere which is prepared to take him.

His care home has been unable to cater for his needs when he has been really unwell, which is somewhat odd as they have nursing, dementia and end-of-life facilities. Over the last few weeks he has been shunted backwards and forwards between the hospital and the care home. So, last night, in the freezing cold he was taken to hospital once again, spending several hours in a busy and over-stretched A&E unit with my husband, and then my brother who sped across from Gloucestershire to be with him.

I have to make the point that I have no complaints about the carers in the different locations he ends up. From the superb paramedics to the carers in his old peoples home, and the nurses in hospital, all involved have treated my dad with dignity and kindness.

It is more the system which is at fault. The care home management seem to just want to cover their axxxx, fearing litigation. And the hospital just do not have the capacity for my dad, who really does not have anything specifically wrong with him, but is quite simply dying.

Without wishing to come across as arrogant, we are intelligent, confident people. My brother is a doctor, my husband and I both run our own businesses. We are all of the same opinion that we do not want dad to continue to suffer with infections, poor mobility and general frailty. We simply want him to be comfortable at the end of his life with the minimum of clinical intervention. So if we are finding it difficult to find appropriate care for our dad, what hope is there for anybody else in this situation, particularly those who do not have family around to help?

Best wishes everyone,
Wendy x

I am currently 2/3 of the way through a fascinating course about a therapy called eye movement desentization and re-processing (EMDR). This intervention has particular success in the treatment of post traumatic stress, having been proven to very rapidly and effectively treat Vietnam veterans, who had previously had up to 20 years of counselling with poor results.

The idea is that traumatic memories are encoded – perhaps even trapped – in different parts of the brain, and the eye movement technique quite literally unblocks these memories and allows them to be processed.

EMDR therapy is starting to be recognised, albeit slowly and almost grudgingly by the mainstream and in fact NICE (National Institute for Clinical Excellence) recommend it for post traumatic stress.

Used in conjunction with hypnosis I think EMDR can be an extremely powerful and effective tool not just for dealing with post-traumatic stress but also for many phobias, anxieties and panic disorders.

If you would like to find out more, please get in touch.

Best wishes,
Wendy x

I recently did something which was a little bit out of character for me, but I am glad I did it. I shall explain.

I noticed in my mum’s copy of the Daily Mail that they publish a weekly article about women who look pretty good for their age, along with their health and beauty tips. So, as I have quite nice hair and teeth (all my own) and have been told that my skin is good for my age, I thought I would send a photo in. Well, would you Adam and Eve it, they only got in touch and asked me to come for a photoshoot!

All very exciting! I went along to the Daily Mail HQ in Kensington, was styled and made-over, then had my photoshoot (it still makes me laugh to say that) and, lo and behold, I am featured in the ‘Inspire’ section of today’s Daily Mail.

Actually, I do agree with some of the comments in the on-line article, that I look all of my 54 years. But I am quite glad about that in all honesty. I think that I look me, the same me who has had all the experiences – good and bad – that I have had, a pretty rough year with regard to family stress, but also some decent times too. It shows on me and that’s how it should be.

I also think I look, to coin a French phrase, ‘happy in my skin’ and that’s good.

Sometimes it’s not such a bad thing to put ourselves out there,
everyone should have their five minutes of fame!

Best wishes to all,
Wendy x

It is all too easy to become addicted to our phones, iPads and laptops and it is not just a habit which affects young people, although it has to be said that more teenagers and twenty-somethings are at risk than the rest of the population.

The ability to communicate with each other so quickly and easily and the wealth of information we can access via the Internet is a wonderful thing.

However, the technology we have at our fingertips can also add to an already chaotic and complex world, increasing the risk of negative behaviour patterns, stress-related disorders and even mental illness.

If you are aware of what may be becoming an increasingly unhealthy addiction, then it is possible to set in place strategies which could help. These include setting yourself limits on Internet use, restricting email checking to set times of the day, and also having times when you switch phones, iPads and laptops off completely.

You may even like to consider a retreat – a digital detox – where you can leave it all behind, and so you have no choice but to engage in healthy, nurturing (and non-technological) activities.

If you feel that the addiction is so strong that you need additional help, then you may like to consider hypnotherapy. By relaxing the mind, and receiving hypnotic suggestions which can help you to let go of addictive habits, you may find that your internet use is much reduced, leaving you much more free to enjoy the good things in life.

Have a great week.

Best wishes,

Wendy x

As a nation we tend to be backwards in coming forwards, and will very often put up with things that are unsatisfactory, as opposed to speaking out. In some ways this very British reserve can be a positive thing, a desire to keep the peace, not ruffle any feathers and above all, avoid confrontation.

I have to say that, personally, I have always had a tendency towards keeping my own counsel and not speaking out. But of late I have begun to recognise the value of giving my opinion when I feel strongly that a view needs to be put forward.

However, when we do put our thought across it is really important that we consider the effect that this is going to have.

In NLP there is a saying ‘the meaning of the communication is the response that you get’. So, just opening your mouth to let out anger, frustration or displeasure without really giving any thought as to how this will be received is generally not a good idea.

On the other hand, being able to express your view in a well thought out and constructive way, whilst at the same time retaining a good rapport with the person (or persons) you are speaking to is the essence of effective communication.

A big part of being able to have the confidence to express yourself clearly and well is having greater self-esteem, a belief in your own abilities, and also trusting your gut feeling.

Hypnotherapy and NLP can help you to feel much more confident about yourself so that, if you do find yourself in a situation where it is necessary to be forthright, you will find it much easier to express your point of view.

But, more importantly perhaps, in a way which will be heard and understood.

Very best wishes,

Wendy x