Many of you will no doubt be tired of the endless amount of royal wedding fever being spread these past few weeks, but I for one am looking forward to sitting down on Friday and watching the ceremony with my mum and dad (Mr Chalk being away in Brussels on business on that day).   I am going to cook them a nice lunch, with champagne to toast the happy couple.

Whilst I am in no way a royalist and I do think that much of the extravagance of the Royal Family is unjustified, I am a firm supporter of Prince William and I think he strives to live as normal a life as possible and so I really hope that his marriage to Kate is a long and very happy one.   I may not have reason to be so optimistic, if one looks at his family’s track record, but I sincerely believe that he will be the one to ‘buck the trend’ and really work hard to make the union work.   His caution before committing himself to marriage displays a very practical, pragmatic approach, which (although it may not be earth-shatteringly romantic) would lead me to think that he has made absolutely sure that Kate is the ‘one’.

It is a sad fact that in today’s society marriage breakdown is very common and this can have devastating psychological and emotional effects on the couple, but particularly on any children involved.  I believe that as couples we all go through times where we want to strangle our partners, but also times when we know we could not live without them.

There is no recipe for making sure that a partnership stays the distance, but I have put together a few pointers which I believe are important for preserving longevity in a relationship. 

Choose your partner wisely
Yes, it is important that you fancy them, but it is not THE most important thing.  Above all, make sure that you share the same basic values, talk about what you want out of life, whether you both want to have children (yes, some people don’t talk about this until they are married), where you want to live, what careers you want etc.  I am not saying draft a ‘pre-nup’ agreement, but get these basics agreed upon, and you will find things much easier in the long run.

Laugh at the same things
I can honestly say that this is one of the most important things within a relationship, and it has been what has kept me and Mr Chalk going through some difficult times – I remember when we were going through IVF treatment, I never laughed so much in all my life (particularly when they handed us the ‘pot’ for sperm collection, which was roughly the size of a small thimble!)  Being able to look at the funny side is vitally important, as every couple will have their low times.  

Always be considerate
It is the little things that you do for each other that really matter, not great big romantic gestures, like putting a little message in the places where only they go, to tell you that you are thinking of them or, when they have just got home from a really bad day, sitting down with them and letting them ‘dump’ all their angst on you, instead of giving your attention to the numerous other things that might demand your attention.   I always remember coming home from a week long course in France to a wonderful home-made banner that Mr Chalk had made with the boys, welcoming me back.  It is things like this that really do provide the cement to a relationship and go to make sure that you do not take one another for granted.

Have arguments
OK, this does not mean going at it hammer and tongs day and night, but I believe that it is important to assert differences of opinion, rather than always giving in, for a peaceful life.   And, make sure that you actually listen to each other.   It is only by doing this, that the relationship remains on an equal footing, with both sides being heard.

Let the other partner have their own interests, separate from yours
It is important to allow your loved one to explore what interests them, even if this holds no appeal for you.   Mr Chalk likes going to Santa Pod to watch the drag racing, but I can honestly say that I would rather have root canal work done, so he generally goes with the boys or friends.   On the other hand, I am happy to watch hours of Coronation Street episodes, which I tend to do on my own, as others in the family visibly wince when they hear the theme tune.

Make time to do stuff together
Very often, due to work, children, other commitments, we have no time left for our partners, except for doing the mundane, domestic stuff that has to be done.   Making sure that you find the time to plan little outings, walks, going to the pictures etc. is really important to retain that sense of closeness within a relationship.

Share the domestic tasks
This is not rocket science and it is the 21st century now, so make sure that domestic jobs are shared out, and it does not all fall into one person’s lap.   You will each have things that you are better at, so work to your strengths, but above all make sure that chores are divided evenly, so one of you is not totally stressed out with having to do everything.

Have regular money meetings
Do not let money issues mount up – make sure that you keep within your budget and are sensible about spending.  Often, it is when things are left that the money problems can start to fester.

Acknowledge that there will be ‘ups’ and ‘downs’ but remember what first attracted you to each other
Everybody encounters some stress in their life, and with couples it is often those first years, when children are small and money is tight that tend to be really difficult.  Knowing the value of staying together and sharing family life, through all its challenges is really important.  Nurture each others hopes and dreams and you will make sure that the partnership remains strong whatever happens.

Wishing Will and Kate all the very best this Friday.