The Panarama programme last Monday evening on male suicide was an extremely sad and moving piece. It largely focussed on journalist Simon Jack trying to find out why his father took his own life at 40, an age which Simon himself had reached.

Apparently suicide, quite shockingly, is one of the biggest killers in men under the age of 50, and particularly common with young men between the ages of 18 and 24. In a time when the stigma of mental illness does seem to be breaking down, it does still appear that for many the idea of asking for help is not an option. The old stereotype of women being able to go to their friends, family and professionals for help more easily, and not bottling things up may still apply, but I do think it goes deeper than that.

Simon found that his father did seem to have a history of depression and alcoholism (which do often go together) and was of the generation when you kept your stiff upper lip, and didn’t talk to people about how you felt, as this was a sure sign of weakness. He felt increasingly trapped by all sorts of different pressures, and in the end saw no other way out.

Whilst this may still be true to a certain extent, I think what also comes into play is the fact that men are now finding themselves at a crisis point in terms of their identity. The world is now a complex place, where roles and identities are mixed around, and for many men the old primal idea of just wanting to provide for the family is still a basic instinct – hence there is a conflict.

We should encourage men to talk and seek help, but it is far more than that, I believe. Mental health support needs to be individually tailored for each person, not a one size fits all, and only then can we truly start to help those in need. This inevitably requires increased funding and training and a much less blinkered approach in the provision of counselling and support. In addition, help needs to be given straight away, as so often people are put on a waiting list, with sometimes dire results.

Best wishes,

Wendy x